Why It's Okay to NOT Have It All Figured Out

Young adulthood can be one of the most challenging and stressful things that we, as humans, get to experience. I am only twenty years old and I still have a lot of life to live, but I think it’s safe to assume that life only gets more difficult and challenging as you get older. Throughout my twenty years of life, it has not been uncommon for me to feel completely behind and lost when I compare myself to my peers. I think that as young adults, we assume that everyone expects us to have life all figured out because we think that everyone already has. At such a young age, it’s easy to look around at our parents and grandparents and think that everything came easy to them. In reality, we have to remember that they were in our shoes at one point too. No matter where you are at in your life, there are always going to be tough challenges and decisions to make. From choosing what you want to major in in college, to choosing who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and so much more, it can all seem scary. At the end of the day, it’s important to say that it’s okay to feel lost, It’s okay to mess up and it’s okay to be scared of the unknown because no one truly has it all figured out.

I am a junior in college, and I can honestly say that choosing a major is easily one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. I have officially changed my major three times. I’m the prime example that says that it’s okay to not get it right on the first try. I remember starting college as a freshman and thinking that it was going to be the longest four years of my life. After three major changes and an identity crisis, I can honestly say that my time here at school has flown by. I started college as an elementary education major only to switch to business finance and finally end up as a social work major. I vividly remember thinking that my first major change was going to flip my world upside down only because it completely changed the plan that I had always had growing up. I was torn between not feeling completely satisfied with what I was doing and not knowing what I wanted to do. Halfway through my freshman year I switched to business finance because I knew it was a safe and reliable career that I was completely capable of doing. It wasn’t until this year that I realized that instead of playing it safe, I needed to follow my gut and go into something I feel passionate about in order to really feel happy. Was I terrified? Yes. I was scared that if I changed my major one more time, I would be making the wrong decision by putting myself behind in school. One night, I had a long conversation with my Mom when she reminded me that the only person’s opinion I needed to consider was my own because at the end of the day this was a decision that I would have to live with. That same week I switched my major to social work because I think that advocating for people in need will be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling careers. Some college students know exactly what they want to do going into school, and some like myself have to go through experiences and growth to find out what they’re truly passionate about. Getting to know yourself takes time and there is nothing wrong with changing your mind.

Along with being indecisive about my future, I’ve always struggled to realize that there is no need to rush into a relationship. Sometimes it’s easy to feel like there’s something wrong with you when you’re not in a relationship. I can honestly say that I’ve never been truly in love with someone. It used to really upset me that I haven’t experienced what so many people already have. When finally, I realized that being single is not the end of the world. It’s something I have learned to appreciate at this stage in my life. As a young adult there are so many things that we should get to experience before we’re tied down. If you're single and you’re longing for a relationship, keep in mind that this is the last time in your life that you are only responsible for you. When you’re in a relationship you always have to consider how your decisions might affect your significant other. It’s the only time in your life where you get to discover your own identity. And lastly, it’s the last time in your life that you can truly do whatever you want without having to check in with anyone else. I think this freedom is something that many single people take for granted. Am I excited to find the person to spend the rest of my life with? Yes, I cannot wait to experience what love really feels like. But that does not mean that I don’t cherish this time where I get to be completely independent and learn to love myself.

Throughout my short twenty years I’ve experienced many challenges and decisions that felt impossible to make at the time but if there is one thing I have learned; it is that there is no right or wrong way of going about young adulthood. The best advice that I have for others is to just try everything and be open to new things. It’s important to keep in mind that there is no time limit on when you have to get things done by and it’s okay to not know how or why you’re doing something. You’re not always going to find the answers that you’re looking for and you’re not always going to be successful on the first try. As young adults we’re all so eager to start living our lives and to find all the answers to all of our questions when really, we should be focusing on living in the moment. Life is always going to throw curve balls your way no matter what stage we’re in. No one truly has everything figured and it’s perfectly okay to live an imperfect life.