Growing up, I was raised by a single mom. After 20 years of searching for a husband, she never found the right one. So, she decided to use a sperm donor to have a child. And that’s how I was born. My mother is now 56 years old, and remains a virgin. Throughout my childhood, sex wasn’t talked about in my house. My mother had no experience and she felt uncomfortable talking to me about it. I had the sex talks in school, where the birds meet the bees, and getting your period, etc. But I never really knew what it meant to have sex with someone. I thought having sex was just kissing! I mean can you blame me? Anyway, I moved my way through middle school and high school, and I still didn’t really know anything about sex. For a while in high school, I actually thought I was asexual. According to ww.asexuality.org, “Unlike celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sexual activity, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are, just like other sexual orientations.” The main reason I thought this was because I had never so much as kissed someone before.
Well I can’t say that now. College was like going to another universe. I wanted to explore this new territory full of opportunities in expanding your knowledge and world view, and experiencing the wonderful activity that is sex. So eager to find out the fundamentals of coitus, I joined Tinder. I was swiping left on most people because I wanted to be with someone who I would feel comfortable with. After a couple days, I found a guy. He was 22, a little old to me, but I wanted someone who knew what they were doing. So, we talked for two days and then met up and did the deed. For all you virgins out there, I’m here to tell you: it wasn’t a big deal.
Many people see sex as a sign of love commitment to each other. But in my opinion, sex is nothing more than a recreational activity. And even though I have only done it once, I learned a lot about myself and my values. Below, I have included some lists that can be useful for for first timers.
When having sex for the first time with someone you met on Tinder:
1. Make sure you are comfortable – nothing is more important than feeling comfortable. It will be a little awkward at first, this is the first time you are meeting them and you are letting them take your virginity, so make sure you feel comfortable.
2. It’s not for everyone – personally, I’m glad I lost mine this way, but that’s just my opinion. It may be better for you to wait to do it with someone you really care about. But always remember to respect every woman’s decision on how to lose their virginity.
3. Tell your roommate and friends where you are – make sure to let your friends know where you are if anything goes wrong. I was lucky enough to have an amazing first experience, but you should also be cautious when meeting up with a stranger.
Here are some things to bring for your first time:
1. Condoms – make sure to always use condoms or another form of birth control when having sex. The worst thing that can happen is you getting an STD or pregnant.
2. Wipes – there may be some fluid in your private parts so make sure to go clean up afterwards.
3. A new pair of underwear – just to make you feel fresh and dandy
Things to do after you have done the deed:
1. PEE – Go to the bathroom after you have sex. It is common to get a UTI (urinary tract infection), so make sure you pee.
2. SHOWER – This isn’t a must, but it is a strong suggestion. You don’t want any fluid to be left in your private parts overnight.
3. MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD – The best decision I made after having sex was going to planned parenthood. They are very knowledgeable in the subject of sex, and they gave me a nice little goody bag after my visit.