For most of my life, I have been considered a quiet girl, by myself and others. Up until recently, I’ve had the pretty constant feeling of discomfort in knowing that, and oftentimes found myself questioning the consequences of being this way. I understand it’s not the end of the world by any means to be known as the girl who just doesn’t say much, but I have to say, it gets pretty annoying, even aggravating sometimes.
My opinion on what to watch for movie night is not consistently shot down, but even worse, not heard in the first place – because I don’t speak up.
My turn gets skipped in card games because the rest of the group “forgot I was even there,” – I am that quiet.
I’m told wild stories from drunk nights with friends as if I wasn’t with them the entire time, cheering them on during beer pong and dancing with them.
It’s hard knowing that I’m not a very loud person because I think a lot of times people associate big voices with big confidence. I’ll admit that I’m not confident 100% of the time (because nobody is), but I’m comfortable with myself and I’m comfortable with knowing that I don’t need to say my opinion the loudest and proudest all of the time, or sometimes even at all. I used to constantly compare myself to the ones in the friend group known as the “loud ones,” the ones that had enough confidence to not only say what they feel but say it loud enough to make sure their point was heard. I’ve only recently learned that I am absolutely okay with being loud about a few things I am passionate about, but keep the rest of my life pretty peaceful and quiet.
I don’t mean to throw myself a pity party, because I understand that I am in fact a rather silent person, and that’s not anybody’s problem but my own. It just gets a little frustrating knowing that I’m often forgotten about, even if it’s unintentional. My quiet way of life has caused me some stress in my lifetime, but recently I’ve been wanting to change that about myself. I know I have a voice and there is power in that voice for me to stand up for myself and advocate for the people and things I care about – it’s just taken me a little while to find the confidence to use it.