Are you curious or judgmental?
When getting to know someone, it’s common to ask them questions. You want to find out about who they are and how they live their lives. This is a way for us to learn more about them.
“What are your fears?”
“What kind of family do you want to build?”
“What’s your five-year plan?”
“How many ‘hookups’ have you had?”
While you may just be curious, these questions may come off as judgemental. The person on the receiving end may feel offended and pressured to answer.
I understand you just want to get to know them on a deeper level. But ask yourself, is there a better, more sensitive way you could get to know them? You could try asking them questions using a different approach:
“Are there any fears you have that you want to share with me?”
“Do you want to share anything with me?”
“Do you know, that I want to get to know you better?”
Being curious means you are interested. When you are curious, you are invested and ready to inquire. Just remember to be curious in a compassionate way.