When thinking about what I wanted my first article to be about, I wanted it to be something that really spoke to me and that I really related with. I wanted this topic to be something relevant to my life now, which is college and its daily struggles.
When coming to college 3 years ago, I really started to struggle mentally for the first time in my life. For me, it was a battle that I didn’t know anything about, and it was hard for me to tell people what was going on because I thought no one would understand. I kept most of my struggles to myself and that did not help at all. I would have really good days, then really bad days, but for the most part my exterior never changed because I didn’t want people to see me struggling.
College is tough for most people because it’s the first time in your life that you really are not depending on your parents or legal guardians to take care of you. For myself, I struggled with that fact that I was not seeing my family as much and got the worst case of FOMO (fear of missing out). Family has had such a big impact on my life because we are constantly together, texting and talking to one another. I come from a very large family, having 9 siblings that are all literally my BFF’s. Finding out who I am without the help and influence of my favorite people really opened my eyes to trying to find myself.
A big part of college is just going through the experiences of figuring out who you are as an individual. That comes with figuring out newfound hobbies, beliefs, and friends. With this new experience came a lot of alone time that I had never experienced before. Like I stated before, I have a LOT of siblings and family so alone time is never something I had. I figured out that I really love having my own space and time alone to decompress, but too much alone time for me is not something that is good. I feel too distant from others and not connected to as many people as I would like.
Another thing I struggled with is all the stereotypes of “what I should be doing” with my time in college. I learned that being away from family is something that I will not miss out on if that is truly something I want to do whether I think others will judge me for it. For example, freshman year I missed my Grandma’s 75th birthday. There was not a single one of her birthdays that I had missed my whole life and I cried at the fact that I was missing her special day. I swore to myself that I would never miss another birthday, anniversary, or holiday at the expense of what I thought I “should be doing” at school. I do not feel bad that I choose my family over the parties and the drinking I will be missing on the weekends. There will always be more parties, but my Grandparents and loved ones won’t always be around.
I have grown into someone that I really like throughout my challenges. I respect myself and like the independent woman that I am becoming. I still struggle from day to day, but it has become something that I know how to handle. College has helped me realize what I truly want in life and figure out the things that mean the most to me. If that means people don’t like my decisions or things that I am doing, I have grown to be okay with that. I am thankful that I came to college and have had this experience to just be me, Shannon. It has helped me see that life is too short to be making decisions based on what everyone else wants me to do and not doing something that makes ME happy. But then again, college is tough, but so am I.