Growing up I have always been told what to look like, what the ideal body type is and how to maintain that. But no one tells you how hard it is to keep yourself looking like the ideal girl, and how judged you will feel looking at how you look compared to other girls. I have to admit I was always self conscious, every little critique I did I compared to the other girls in my class. I looked at how they looked and then looked at myself, even when I was active in all three sports seasons of high school.
No one tells you that when it comes to your life, and when you get a job, you don’t really care about sports as much as you used to. You have money and a car and well now you have the freedom to get the fast food your parents limited. No one tells you that with freedom you have to learn the consequences the hard way. No one tells you how hard it is to walk into certain stores where they stop the sizes before yours. How you feel digging through a thrift store finding your size, and how hard it is to get the weight back off.
Being ‘Plus Size’ in this day in age is becoming normal, but it doesn’t make it easy. It took me a long time in order to feel comfortable with who I am, with what makes me, me. I know that being a senior in college there are still times when I look at myself and feel bad about myself, but I have started to learn to love myself. Which trust me wasn’t an easy feat for me. I am now starting to wear things I never thought I would, I have stepped back from all my baggy shirts. Well I haven’t stepped back completely, I still love putting on a baggy shirt and feeling comfortable in it. I have slowly started to be comfortable with who I am, which if you told freshman me this, she wouldn’t believe you.
In all seriousness, more and more companies are embracing Plus Size women and showing that there are not only the stick thin models, but there is a whole range of bodies out there. I mean living in an age where one of the most empowering songs is sung by an African American woman who has curves is amazing. Stores that once idolized being a size 0 are starting to adapt and carry more sizes. Walking into Target and trying to find clothes for every size isn’t as scary as it used to be. That doesn’t mean that it is still not scary to walk out of the house. You never know what you are going to get, the look of disgust, the look of acceptance and all the while you are trying to keep a smile on your face. I used to hate shopping for clothes, going to the clothing section hoping you will find your size.
We are living in an era where it is okay to be whoever you are and to feel comfortable in your own skin. No matter what happens, or who you become you are important. No matter what size and shape, you need to know that you matter. The truth is that we are all amazing in our own way.