It all started out with a date. After being guarded off for so long and never letting my heart fully open to someone in fear of getting hurt, I went on a REAL first date. Do you know how exciting that is? If a guy picks you up, opens your car door, and walks you to step of your door after IT’S A REAL DATE. That is so rare I cannot even exaggerate this enough. I was trying to change my post party casual hook up lifestyle to actually trying to make a connection with someone. Besides the fact that I barely have enough time to go to the bathroom most days between school, work, and extracurricular activities, how the F do I sit on waiting for Mr. Right?
He picked me up on a Tuesday night after a school meeting and my heart was pounding. My heart was racing as I looked at the way his hair swept back so perfectly in his Minnesota Twin’s baseball cap. To keep off the pressure of the dinner and drinks, we got coffee. We exchanged conversation about film, our favorite sport teams, and our majors. He seemed kind hearted and genuine the way he talked about his upbringing in Minneapolis. It was nice. It was refreshing to just have a normal conversation and to connect with someone in a different way that wasn’t strictly physical.
After talking at Starbucks until close he dropped me back off at my apartment complex with a ever so smooth goodbye kiss. My heart was flying. Episodes of fairytale Taylor Swift songs rung through my head as I thought that I was on the right track to something of more value than a simple hook up. My intentions weren’t necessarily to date this guy per say, but I wanted a mutual respect of each other. Something that wasn’t a text at 1:56 AM saying “Come over.”
I walked in to my apartment and my first instinct of thought was , “Do I text him? Or does that seem needy?” And it all went downhill from there like most situations similar to this. After vague texts back and forth from this encounter, I found myself drowning in passive aggressive behavior. Not only was I scared to say how I felt because I thought I was going to be judged for it, but I’m sure he was scared to say that he wasn’t interested into moving forward with a 2nd or 3rd date.
You could have the best looks and a strict third date rule and you will still find yourself wondering why he was acting different or “ghosting” you. I get girls sometimes over think things and guys usually like to get “straight to it”, but there comes a point where there needs to be mutual respect for each other by communicating how you feel. Do you really think not responding to texts or being vague is better than telling someone straight up how you felt? Yeah it might be a quick jab in the heart, but it also might save a lot of time for the other individual in worry and anxiousness.
In the age of communication and nobody actually communicates. What should we do?