If you are moving out of your childhood home, it is difficult, but in the end it will be good. For me, it was the hardest thing I had to do in my life. When my parents first told me we would be moving, I freaked out. There was so much change already happening with going off to college, and I selfishly did not want any more. I spent my whole childhood there; it was the only house I had ever lived in. I didn’t want to close that chapter of my life. It seemed to me like a literal and physical representation of that shift from childhood to adulthood. Coming to the place where I am now took a lot of work. I still get sad but I have a healthier mindset. Luckily, I have the most supportive and loving people by my side to help me through it. Now I know home is way more about the people than the house.
I love my last home. It is, by far, the coziest and most comforting place I know. All my favorite memories are in that house. From watching classic rom-com movies with my mom while my dad cooked dinner to playing house with my friends when I was little. I still think of the times me and my brother would argue over who got the remote or how my parents and I would make forts in the living room. My best friend, Izzy, and I became best friends in my room at that house. The things that made my life special started from the times spent there. All the love I felt stemmed from the feelings and moments that took place in that house. And now I am a freshman in college and my parents have moved out. It is a big change. But once I accepted the change I was able to understand something very important.
Here are some things I learned during this time.
Look at it through other points of view. Once I started seeing it through my parents’ eyes it allowed me to understand it a lot more. For example, when I realized that my parents had to live in the house they raised me and my siblings in without us being there anymore, I could see how hard it must be. I will admit I was thinking selfishly and if you are feeling the same way, it is ok and totally normal. I have been graced with incredible human beings as parents so when I took a step back and saw how hard it was for them as well, that selfishness went away. We were all facing the same obstacle and we all had to say goodbye to the house. While I was losing the house, I still had so many things and people in my life to be grateful for, like my parents. And if it weren’t for those people, that house would not hold as much value to me anyway.
Do not get caught up in the “lasts”. This is something I have learned in hindsight. What I mean is, do not focus on how “this is my last home-cooked meal in this house” or “this is my last nap in this house.” Full disclosure, that is what I did and I regret it. I was so focused on documenting all of my lasts that I was not present in the moment. I was concerned on making every “last” an event instead of enjoying it and soaking in all the little things.
Let yourself be sad and cry. For a while, I just acted like it was not happening as quickly as it was. That was easy, because I was already physically detached being in college and living in dorms. I also felt embarrassed about how sad I was because other people in my family were not as connected to the house as much as I was. At first, whenever I felt myself getting emotional I would go into the bathroom or my room and cry or I would just hold it back as much as I could. I didn’t want anyone to feel bad about how upset I truly was. But then, my mom said to me, “it’s okay to be sad”. That helped me realize that sometimes a good cry is just what you need. It is fine for me to cry and get upset because it just goes to show how fortunate I was to have a place like that. A place that made saying goodbye so difficult. I still cry about it, and that is okay because I know I am crying because of all the happiness I felt there.
Leave your mark on the house. One night when my whole family was over for dinner, my parents, siblings and I decided to carve our name in the one of the ceilings. Not too big where the new owner would notice but not too small that if we came back we wouldn’t see it. We all carved our initials into the wood ceiling. That was the most important part for me. Our names will always be there, no matter who is living there. That feeling of being in there in spirit can help with the goodbye. And knowing that allows me to move on because we will always be a part of that house, just like that house will always be a part of us.
It is still hard for me to think about the transition and I am not sure when it will feel completely normal to call another house “my home”. But I am sure about the people in my life and I am proud of the chapter of our lives that took place in that house. At the end of the dinner party, my siblings and I had a group hug and my sister said to us, “we did it, we grew up”. That summed it up perfectly. Moving out of my childhood house signified something greater. We were all diving into a new and exciting chapter of our lives as a family. Whatever chapters are ahead of me I know I will always have a home because I will always have my family.