Moving On

Growing up in a small town as a huge fan of the entertainment industry, I figured the best way to spend my college years would be to put myself in one of the biggest hotspots of entertainment, and move to New York City. If you compare my Instagram feed to the feeds of people who are going to schools not in a city, they are extremely different. I am posting pictures of me at red carpet premieres and Broadway shows, and theirs are of parties every week or of their sorority. As fun as all of the events I attend are, and the “perfect life” people who don’t live in NYC think I am living, I actually really miss small town life. 

I think the thing I miss the most, is my relationships with people. Going to public school, you have been stuck with the same people for twelve years so there was never really a need to introduce yourself to people since you had grown up together. Freshman year of college, I was lucky enough to end up with the best roommates ever. However, since they were my best friends, I never reached out to anyone else and really failed to make friends in New York. Thinking back to high school, I truly was surrounded by incredible friends. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about reaching out to one of my friends from high school. 

As a person who considers themself an introvert and is terrified of rejection, I feel so nervous by the concept of reaching out to them. I feel like I have connections with my roommates friends because they aren’t afraid to reach out to people and yet, the only things they know about my friends are my constant stories about them. There is really no reason for me to be scared about reaching out, but I just don’t want to interrupt them because for all I know, they could have forgotten about me despite everything we have shared throughout the years. It is such a silly thought, but it is one that plagues me. Everyone needs to move on at some point in their life but sometimes I just wonder if I peaked in high school and it is all downhill from here. That sounds cynical, but I really do intend it in a solely joking manner. I think it is okay to look back and reminisce on these memories from high school even though people may say it's not. They remind us of where we once were, how far we have come since then, and how much further we can soar.

I have been trying to figure out how I wanted to finish this off. Most of the things I write for Her Campus are about the entertainment industry because that is what I know and have an extreme love for. Writing this made me think about my life and how I interact with others. This almost feels too personal to post since this is not something I really talk about often. It is such a basic topic though, to reach out to talk to your loved ones. I am lucky enough that I do still keep in touch with a couple of my friends from back home, but wish I felt more confident in myself to reach out to the people I want to talk to the most. I am truly happy with where I am at in my life right now but still need to work on my confidence when trying to talk to others. So if anyone out there is reading this and has the same worries or thoughts, just know you are not alone.