For the past three and a half years, my life has primarily been focused on my college education, not that I would have it any other way. Between the classes I’ve taken, organizations I’ve joined, and the friends I’ve made, I would not consider a second of that time wasted. I’ve always enjoyed school – yes, I was that kid. I find college to be wonderfully challenging and comfortable at the same time. I have structure and yet enough freedom to take control of my life and do the things I want to do. While I used to complain about the courses I was required to take, I now find myself running out of time to take all the courses I would love to experience. Now that I’m entering my last semester of college, I’m torn between not wanting to leave the role of student, and yet being eager to enter the “real world”. Being a college student has been such a large part of my identity that when I’m no longer a college student anymore, I’m not sure who I’m going to be.
On one hand, it would be very nice to have a “big girl” apartment and a nice job where I could make enough money to treat myself like a real adult. On the other hand, that level of responsibility terrifies me. Growing up, I heard a lot of people say things like, “I don’t want your typical 9-5 job.” I always considered myself more than satisfied with a 9-5 job if I enjoyed the work that I was doing. With that work, however, comes responsibility. I won’t be able to skip a class or take a long weekend for a spontaneous girls trip. There’s also the added pressure of being expected to “have your life together.” I’m not sure exactly what that means but something tells me it’s not eating pancakes in bed hungover on a Sunday morning.
On the other hand, I’ve been working hard during my college career with the intention of getting a job in the field I’m interested in exploring. Entering the workforce and being able to put my skills to practical use is something I’m very excited to do. Especially considering the possibilities of starting a career. I know logically that the job I begin my career with will not necessarily be the job I stick with forever. Because of that I’m excited to see where the journey takes me.
I will also admit to having pretty bad “senioritis” at this point. While I’d love to learn a lot from my classes and get as much out of my college experience as I possibly can, the goal at this point is to graduate and earn my degree. I also have this underlying pressure to make the most of my time in college by “partying” and “having the time of my life.” Overall making those “When I was in college….” memories. While I would love to let go and party during my last semester of college, I also have my looming future on my mind.
Everything I’m feeling entering my last semester of college, excitement, fear, uncertainty, I think the most prominent feeling is sure. Despite the uncertainty, I’m sure that this is where I’m supposed to be in my life right now. While I don’t know what the future holds, I’m determined to make the most of my remaining time in college and trust that all I have accomplished will pave the way for something great.