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How College Destroyed And Rebuilt My Confidence

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at MMM chapter.

In my teenage years I grew up knowing exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to act and sing. I was in my first short film at the age of twelve, scored many of leads in musicals at my school and community theatre, and was even the president of my high school choir. I did everything I could musically, because that’s exactly what I wanted to do. There was absolutely nothing else I pictured myself doing. Then I came to college.

I go a very arts oriented college where everyone is super talented at what they do. I had auditioned for the musical theatre program, but I did not get accepted into it. I was fine because I thought to myself that I would have plenty of chances to show my musical talents and even audition the following year for the program, but it did not quite work out that way. I got to college and realized that I was only a small fish in a big pond. That terrified me.

Once I started to change my mind about the career path I wanted to follow, I got scared. My confidence plummeted because I believed that I was not good enough at what I was so certain about for so many years. It depressed me in a way to “say goodbye” to a passion I held so close.

I started to join other activities, one of them being writing for Her Campus at my college. I have always loved writing and I discovered that I had a deeper passion for it than I thought. I found that writing articles is not only fun, but you can inform others about different subjects and show creativity through them as well.

After realizing how good it felt to write, I started to build my confidence back up again. I started to create a new image for myself, more than just music. I found that I can do many things and after that my fears started to be resolved. At first, the thought of changing my major struck me with a huge amount of anxiety. My confidence in being able to make decisions was altered, but I built myself back up by creating other opportunities. Through those opportunities I learned more about myself as a person and I grew from them.

My time on the stage is not over, I still can act and sing. But my other stage is the page—or screen in this case. College may make you question what you are doing with your life and it is okay to change your mind. When I first came to college, my confidence was low because I did not know what I was good at anymore and I didn’t think I would ever be involved like I was in high school. Now, I know that there is so much out there and since learning that, my confidence has been built back up again.

I am a freshman at Marymount Manhattan College where I currently study Theatre Arts and New Media. A few of my favorite things are music, writing and tea.
Campus Correspondent at HC MMM. Communications student in NYC.  Instagram: @sara.capucilli