Living in America means that most children grow up unequally and their social class often determines their life outcome. Annette Lareau wrote the book Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life, based on the lack of social mobility in America. Children are raised with the American Dream mentality, causing them to think their own individual talents and efforts are the reason for their success in life. However, Lareau argues that it is social classes that have ingrained inequality in childhoods as it sets some people ahead and some people behind.
There are two different child rearing strategies that Lareau discusses in Unequal Childhoods. She argued that middle class families often raised their children through concerted cultivation, meaning that they foster their child’s skills and talents, challenging them with language and cognitive skills. On the other hand, Lareau argued that working and poor class families raised their children through natural growth, meaning they do not intervene with their child’s life as much and the child often has more independence and child’s play. Both of these strategies have their pros and cons but they both exist in our society and affect how a child develops in society.
After analyzing this book, I have applied Lareau’s study to my own life. How is my childhood unequal because of social class? I grew up in a white and middle class family in Southern California. We did not live in the suburbs but we did live in a stereotypical neighborhood. I grew up with kids my own age on my street and we would play together every day after school and our families created a tight knit community on our cul de sac.
My dad was the main breadwinner in our family since he owns his own construction/ hauling company and my mom was a stay at home mother until I was about five. Then my mom became the music and liturgy director at our local Catholic Church. My dad did not attend college but he did earn his GED and my mom graduated from the University of South Dakota. They decided to put me and my brother into a private Catholic school from Preschool to Eighth grade. We experienced a different educational path than others because we were put into Catholic school. The school had only 200 or so students and the parents were heavily involved. Everything was extremely organized and most of the children attending this school were privileged. I felt very lucky to be attending a school where I had personal bonds with each of my teachers. I felt special.
In the first grade, my parents put me into ballet classes and I was also involved in the school choir. This is the foundation of a childhood of concerted cultivation because my parents were very concerned about my education and my skill sets. However, in the second grade my parents got a divorce and the style of how they raised me also shifted.
My grandparents became more involved with paying for my Catholic school tuition and my brother and I spent more time developing on our own. This period of time allowed me to gain a sense of independence and individuality that I might not have experienced if my parents stayed together. According to Lareau, children from lower income households are more creative and genuinely enjoy their playtime because of their sense of independence from their parents. Living in a one bedroom apartment with my mom definitely helped me gain a sense of the world. Financial strains were very apparent at that point and it helped me get more creative when I needed something to do.
I spent a lot of time learning more about myself as a child because I had the ability to choose how I spent my time. This is important because if my parents had completely used concerted cultivation techniques on my development, I would not have had the time to figure out who I am on my own. I decided to quit ballet. I chose to learn how to play the piano at a young age. I chose to get involved in gymnastics, cheerleading, and soccer. I also chose to spend my time devoted to my education.
I had a lot of choices because of the way I was raised. Although there were times when I definitely had to learn how to grow up quicker and take care of myself sooner, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Fortunately, I had a very diverse upbringing and I became aware of the inequalities in our society. From the experience of being at rock bottom financially to also having experienced luxuries in life, I believe that I have gained a very unique perspective of the world.
My transition to high school was interesting because I attended a public school for the first time in my life. It made me very aware of the differences in education and in social interactions. I thrived off of activities that I put myself into and I thrived off of work. I adopted a worker bee instinct throughout high school which allowed me to have great success. I believe this comes directly from my parent’s child rearing strategies because they never tried to forcefully become involved in my activities. They let me figure out the world on my own for the most part, while also financially supporting me.
To be in the place that I am now is a true mystery to me. I would have never expected to see myself attending college in New York City, not even four years ago. I am in awe of where my abilities took me. Although Lareau has a point that social class does create automatic inequality between different childhoods, that definitely does not mean that individuals cannot work hard and move up in society on their own. It only makes them stronger people in the end.
Unequal Childhoods was a mind opening book and helped me understand myself in a way I had never thought of before. It is important to be aware of the way societal institutions are framed from the very beginning of a child’s life in order to truly understand the way inequality is embedded in our society.