Whenever I tell people that my favorite movie is Matilda, I get two reactions: either they agree that they love it, or they think that’s a childish favorite movie. Mara Wilson, who plays Matilda in the movie, released a book this September titled Where Am I Now? True Stories of Girlhood and Accidental Fame. When she announced in April that she had a book coming out in September, I preordered it on the spot. I have been following Mara on Twitter for quite some time now and she is one of the funniest accounts I follow. Whether she is commenting on the current political climate or retweeting others’ tweets, she always makes me laugh. I had a feeling that her book would do the same. Little did I know, her book would also make me cry, get angry, feel sympathetic, and understand things deeper than I had before.
I love books. While I don’t read as often as I would like to, books and the stories encapsulated between their covers are so important to me. I think my love of stems from growing up watching Matilda and seeing this little girl empower herself through books. When Mara Wilson, the girl—now woman—who played my favorite character, came out with her own book I couldn’t put it down.
It starts out with a prologue in which Mara describes her experience watching a video of her, Robin Williams, and Lisa Jakub while on set of Mrs. Doubtfire. It’s in this opening statement that she reveals that she has always felt the need to find a narrative in everything. From this point on, she recalls different stories and experiences she had while growing up in the spotlight. From getting the dream role of Matilda to her mother passing away when she was just 8 to her awkward teenage years and beyond. Wilson included a story that she addresses to her fictional character, Matilda. Maybe it’s because Matilda is my all-time favorite movie, but this letter tugged at my heartstrings. For anyone who saw me crying on the 6 train while reading this book, this letter is why. My favorite part Mara writes is:
I will always remember the look on that woman’s face and what you meant to her. It was something I can, and will, always take pride in. It’s moments like that which make me feel grateful—meeting fans who say Matilda gave them hope, seeing posts on Tumblr about how heartening it was to see a movie where a girl is celebrated for being smart and working hard—I had forgotten how much power you have. You empower people. You always have. You give hope to those who feel lost. You showed those whose families didn’t understand them that they would make their own, the way you did yours with Mrs. Honey. You were, and still are, revolutionary.
This is where the tears started pouring. Matilda is such an important character for young girls to read about. I’ve always loved this character, but now I knew why. It was because Matilda was someone to look up to and aspire to be like.
Some of my other favorite stories she recalls are the ones of her experiences with show choir and her coming to understand that she has obsessive compulsive disorder.
The chapter about show choir, creatively titled, “National Enchoirer,” had me laughing nonstop. Show choir has always been a weird concept to me and Wilson’s description of L.A.-area show choir just added to that—“instead of show tunes and jazz standards, [we] did pop, hip-hop, and R&B, all with their own brand of showmanship and fresh-faced teenage sex appeal (which was often as creepy as it sounds.)” Mara’s experience with show choir ultimately helped her find friends in high school and despite all the preconceptions she had about it, “[she] would never look at show choir the same way again.” She states, “I had found my people. We had seen the injustice inherent in the system, and what was there to do but start our own subculture?” This is a key idea to this book. Growing up and not fitting into the perfect mold by being a little unconventional, you’re often ostracized by society and in turn, need to form your own culture and your own rules so that you can still be happy. Wilson does an amazingly good job at conveying this to her audience. Through her experiences, you learn that you’re not the only one who has experienced something like this.
And while Mara’s book is doing that for her readers today, she too had an epiphany like this while reading the book titled Kissing Doorknobs. The way Wilson explains her experiences with being obsessive compulsive, reading this book, and then getting the help she needed for her disorder is one that I greatly applaud. It’s not always easy to talk about disorders, but Wilson does it with grace and a sense of humor. For me, it completely changed my views on what it’s like to be living with OCD and anxiety.
After finishing this book, I immediately wanted to start reading it again, which doesn’t happen very often. I wanted to read to understand rather than just reading for pleasure. Wilson is no longer in the acting business, but she still uses her talent for good. She works a nonprofit called Publicolor which “aims to improve education in youth by promoting an imaginative use of color in school buildings” (publicolor.org).
If you’re in the market for an amazing narrative of what it’s like to be a child growing up in the spotlight and then growing out of it, I highly recommend picking up a copy of Mara Wilson’s Where Am I Now? True Stories of Girlhood and Accidental Fame.