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Mental Health

Why I️ Ghosted My Best Friend

High school was a battle ground for me. Trying to find a friend group, dealing with teenage angst and self hatred along with constantly overloading myself with school work. I rarely thought highly of myself and often shut people down when they praised me for any of my successes.

Enter one of my closest friends. Let's call her Jordan. We did everything together, during most parts of high school, we were inseparable. 

Jordan and I met through an extracurricular activity, we had lots of time to hang out during meetings, competitions and even during classes. Considering most of my friends from middle school grew out of our friendships, I was always thankful to have a friend like Jordan. Though we were best friends, Jordan consistently found ways to tear me down and make me feel invalidated. 

Currently, Jordan is blocked on all forms of social media, phone and un-added from my family’s social media. So, how did we get here?

In high school, blocking feels like the end of the world. I skimmed her page months after I decided to ghost her, the fact that I’m writing an article shows that Jordan still lives rent-free in my mind. Continuing a friendship with Jordan would have made my life more difficult. She constantly found ways to belittle me and make me feel as if I were worthless or too difficult to be her friend. 

Though I still struggle with the decision of ghosting Jordan, it is clear to me that it's okay to silently end things, sometimes. When times are difficult and you feel as though you are not being valued the way you need, you must make decisions that best fit your situation. For me, ending communication after graduation was the best route for beginning college. 

Blocking someone or ending communication may not always be the best choice when dealing with toxic situations. In my case, I was no longer going to see Jordan on a day-to-day basis, therefore I did not need to worry about whether or not she was going to confront me. If you will see this person daily and will not be able to break off communication virtually and in real life, finding a time to confront your friend may be a healthier way to end a friendship. 

Regardless of your decision to continue friendship and how to confront others when you’re feeling unsatisfied with a relationship, remember the value you have as an individual. Being friends with someone should feel like a burden or difficult to uphold. Friendships should be easy going, reliable and healthy forums for conversation and emotion. 

 

 

Adrian is an undergraduate student studying journalism at the University of Missouri in Columbia, Mo.
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