Talking about serious relationships in college may seem premature and intimidating to some. Yet, college is a time when everyone seems to be hooking up, dating or even finding their lifelong partners. I haven’t always been the smartest with who I share my heart with, but I believe that everyone should be taking the dating scene more seriously than not. Here are four reasons why you should be dating to marry.
1. Having a deeper purpose for your relationship creates a deeper connection.
Let’s be honest. Feelings happen whether we want them to or not, and nothing is scarier than having an emotional attachment to someone who doesn’t share the same purpose as you.
When two people operate with the same purpose in mind, their relationship has a strong foundation of trust. Neither partner has to make assumptions, do any guess work or play games to get what they want, because both will be operating in a similar way due to their shared vision.
That being said, I would argue that having a deeper purpose for your relationship creates a deeper connection. The deeper purpose means finding a partner who really is worthy of your heart and checks all your boxes. Of course, they are doing the same thing in finding you, so the potential for a low-maintenance, yet high-yield relationship is there.
2. Intentional relationships ensure that your feelings are valued and protected.
In purposeful relationships, partners act intentionally. You can’t be dating someone you want to marry and then casually do hurtful things toward them. An intentional partner does the opposite because being intentional means being thoughtful and considerate. In turn, this thoughtfulness ensures that your feelings are being valued and protected. The communication, establishment and consistency of intentions creates an atmosphere of trust where both partners feel safe to be vulnerable, which ultimately builds a stronger relationship.
3. Pursuing serious relationships saves you from unnecessary suffering.
I think everyone has experienced heartache on some level. It really sucks because it’s not just grief and loneliness that you’re feeling, but often a strong sense of insecurity, doubt, fear and even anxiety. The thing is, some of those heavy feelings can happen in the midst of a relationship if there is a lack of deeper purpose and intentions.
If I’m being honest, high school me definitely made some poor choices in the boy department. I wasted pieces of my heart, my affection and definitely my time and energy on guys I wouldn’t even let meet my parents. Not that they even wanted to, because not a single guy I ever talked to took me out on a real date. The problem was that I desired something more, something they simply weren’t ready to give or didn’t have in themselves to give. That doesn’t make any of them terrible people, but the point remains that I could’ve saved myself from unnecessary suffering if I just stayed honest with myself from the beginning.
4. Serious relationships are more fun. Seriously.
The thing I hear all the time is that people aren’t ready for something serious because they just want to “have fun.” Well, I can understand not being ready for something serious. It does take real maturity to feel equipped for a more serious commitment to someone, and marriage is simply not for everybody’s lifestyle or goals. So to be clear, I’m not saying you shouldn’t date around and take your time before you choose to pursue marriage. However, if you are dating around, do yourself a favor and create some healthy boundaries for things you consider serious in relationships so that you actually have fun.
That being said, I can honestly say I’ve had the best time of my life dating someone who is just as committed to me as I am to him. The deeper connection makes everything we do with each other more enjoyable and fun, even if it is something that would otherwise be boring. I think it’s because serious relationships give you the freedom to relax and have fun without fear, whereas in other relationships you may be caught up in the drama of the unknown. Personally, I’ve experienced enough of the latter that I’m perfectly happy to date to marry.