At college, we’re in the in-between of still be being teenagers and adulthood. We want to be taken seriously. But at the same, when we’re struggling we want to be able to ask for help. Here are the stages, scenarios and solutions for when it seems like your life is falling apart.
Denial.
As college students, we have a constant struggle to maintain everything, from to excelling in classes, participating in organization and clubs, staying in shape, studying, having a job AND having some type of social life. We deny that we have “too much on our plate” and keep going until we crash.
Solution: For example, I am too organized. Sounds like a paradox, right? I legitimately have three calendars in my room. Yeah, you heard me, three!! In my defense, one is from my school, one is for my class assignments and exams, and the third one is school activities, social events and doctor appointments. Despite all this chaos, it works really well for me and keeps me from getting too overwhelmed because everything is already scheduled. Along with getting organized, I say once a week give yourself “me-time,” which will help with the stress you’re carrying.
The mental breakdown.
A mental breakdown is when you finally realize that your life is falling apart, and you lose it. Whether it’s crying in the middle of the library because you realize a kid in your class deleted your part of the Google doc and you didn’t save it (it really sucked) or refusing to wear anything but pajama pants, an old T-shirt and slippers to class.
Solution: You need to acknowledge that you are only HUMAN and you do make mistakes. Maybe meet with your advisor to work on fixing your performance in class. And if you fall into a depression or your anxiety is getting severe, meet with a therapist and create a “relaxing plan.” Lastly, allow yourself a nap a day to recover.
Acceptance.
They (I don’t know who) always say, “The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem and need help.” I completely agree with that, whether it’s accepting your mental health, gender role, sexual preference, addictions or even just not doing as well as you thought you could in your classes. It’s sometimes hard for us to admit that we have a problem and that we are, in fact, NOT perfect. To acknowledge it is to let go of pride and show you are truly strong to admit that you need help.
Solution: Make a list of things that you’ve accomplished and ask family friends to do the same for you. Keep it on your desk. It’s always a great reminder of your worth. At the humane society, they allow you to “foster care” a puppy, and they pay for everything. All you have to do is give those animals lots of LOVE. Animals in general provide comfort, because they sense stress and try to help (usually by snuggling).
The frenzy to get it together.
After finally forgiving yourself and realizing that it’s in the past, the next step is to get it together.
Solution: As I said previously, I am a planner. It keeps me at ease by keeping my life together. I would also meet with an advisor and schedule weekly meetings, sign up for tutoring, do anything to improve and show those individuals that you have DRIVE to succeed. For non-school related problems, I suggest the possibility of decreasing your work load. Also, working out helps maintain a calm manner. Yoga is super neat if you’re not into intense work outs. There is a small solution to your stress and this is SLEEP, and I mean actually sleep, not laying down and go on Erodr, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter ect. The light and technology deters you from sleeping well.
Flying high again.
Give yourself credit. Being able to put your life together after it falls apart to some extent is amazing.
“Just as I always said that I went down gradually and then suddenly, I also got up that way. All the therapy, all the traveling, all the sleeping, all the drugs, all the drying, all the missed classes, all the lost time — all of that was part of some slow recovery process that came to the end of its tether at the same time I reached mine.” — Elizabeth Wurtzel, author of Prozac Nation: Young and Depressed in America.
Everyone serves a purpose, and when we are faced with battles, it’s HARD to NOT give up, and it’s EASY to give into the self-hate. The only thing we really have control over is how we react to things. If you feel helpless, try to reach out to friends, family, teachers, therapist and counselors.
You DO Matter.
If you’re suicidal and overwhelmed seek help immediately. The National Suicide Prevent Lifelife: 1-800-273-8255. Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week. Or visit their website.