Have you been invited to a Super Bowl party, and suddenly, everyone’s talking about the Chiefs leaving you feeling a little lost in translation? Don’t worry – I’ve got you covered with everything you need to know to not just survive, but thrive in any football conversation. Coming from a Chicago Bears household, I had to learn Chiefs Kingdom culture the hard way, so let me be your guide!
The “Wait, aren’t they from Kansas?” moment
Let’s clear this up right away – the Kansas City Chiefs are actually based in Missouri, not Kansas! This is the first thing you need to know because trust me, someone WILL try to test you on this. When they do, just smile sweetly and say, “Actually, they play at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri.”Â
The dynasty you need to know about
The Chiefs aren’t just having a moment – they’re building a dynasty that’s giving the 90s Chicago Bulls a run for their money. Here’s the stats:
- Won Super Bowl LIV (2020) against the 49ers
- Won Super Bowl LVII (2023) against the Eagles
- Won Super Bowl LVIII (2024) against the 49ers
- Now heading to Super Bowl LIX (2025) against the Eagles
The people you should name-drop
Patrick Mahomes (#15)
- Position: Quarterback and literal superhero.
- Known for being drafted 37th overall in the MLB and 10th overall in the NFL.
- What to say: “His ability to make throws from literally any angle is just ridiculous.”
- Fun fact: In 2018, he was the youngest player to be named the AP NFL MVP after throwing for 50 touchdowns and 5,097 yards.Â
Travis Kelce (#87)
- Position: Tight End and yes, Taylor’s boyfriend
- Known for his charismatic personality and touchdown celebrations
- What to say: “His chemistry with Mahomes is unreal – they’re basically telepathic at this point”
- Fun fact: Kelce hosts a podcast with his brother, who he played against in Super Bowl LVII (2023), Jason called “New Heights”
Andy Reid (a.k.a. Big Red)
- Position: Head Coach
- Known for his amazing offensive strategies
- What to say: “The fact that he turned the Chiefs around immediately after joining in 2013 just shows his genius”
- Fun fact: He used to coach the Eagles – talk about a full-circle moment!
Quick History Lesson That Will Impress EveryoneÂ
Over the last decade, the Chiefs have gone from underdogs to dynasty:
- Pre-2013: Mostly struggle bus years
- 2013: Andy Reid becomes head coach (the ultimate glow-up begins)
- 2017: Draft Patrick Mahomes (like finding the perfect main character)
- 2020-Present: Welcome to the dynasty era, bestie!
How to Sound Like You Know What You’re Talking About
Think of football asa really intense game of getting to your friend’s house:
- The field is like a really long driveway (100 yards)
- You get 4 chances (downs) to move 10-yards
- Get enough 10-yard chunks, and you’ll reach the end zone (touchdown = 6 points)
- If you can’t make it 10 yards, you usually kick it away (punt) or try for 3 points (field goal)
Basic Football Talk Decoder:
- “Down and distance” = How many chances they have left and how far they need to go
- “In the red zone” = They’re close to scoring (inside the 20-yard line)
- “Pick six” = When the defense catches the ball and runs it back for a touchdown
- “Three and out” = When a team uses three plays and has to give the ball back (major fail)
How to Sound Like You Know What You’re Talking About
Use these phrases to instantly sound like a pro:
- “The O-line is really stepping up today” (when Mahomes has time to throw)
- “We need a stop here” (when the other team has the ball)
- “Great field position!” (when we start close to scoring)
- “Shake it off!” (the ultimate Taylor Swift/Chiefs crossover reference)
Conversation Starters That Will Impress:
- “The Hunt family has owned the Chiefs since day one – that’s pretty rare in the NFL these days.”
- “Remember when Derrick Thomas set the NFL record with seven sacks in one game? Legendary!”
- “Trading up to draft Mahomes was the best decision this franchise ever made.”
Party Survival TipsÂ
- When in doubt, just yell “GO CHIEFS!” (it works 99% of the time)
- Wear red and gold (the team colors – you can’t go wrong)
- Don’t freak out when you start seeing people do the tomahawk chop (the arm motion fans do – but feel free to not participate. I personally don’t subscribe to this cheer)
- If someone starts talking stats, redirect to Taylor Swift by saying “The Chiefs’ offense is basically like Taylor’s discography – consistently excellent with occasional moments of pure genius”
Emergency Conversation Enders
When you’re done with football talk, just drop one of these and walk away:
- “Well, as Taylor would say, you need to calm down.”
- “I’m gonna get some more chips – anyone need anything?”
Final tip
The last and most important thing that I will leave you with is that you don’t need to know every detail about football to enjoy the Super Bowl. The commercials, halftime show with Kendrick Lamar and snacks are just as important as the game itself. Â
You also don’t need to know everything about football to hold your own in a conversation. Sometimes the best response to football mansplaining is just a knowing smile and a “That’s interesting – I’m going to get some nachos.”
Now go forth and conquer that Super Bowl party conversation! And if anyone tries to test your football knowledge, just remember – you’ve got this guide in your back pocket, and that’s all you need. Well, that and maybe some good buffalo chicken dip!Â