“Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage” was published in 2026 and follows Belle Burden, who, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, discovers her husband of 20 years is having an affair. After confronting him, he announces that he is leaving Burden and their three children. With no previous portent of her husband’s decision, she is left devastated.
What follows is Burden’s personal account of how she met her husband, both of their family histories and her experiences and thoughts as she navigates her new life without her partner.
Now, here are some thoughts I had while reading this story.
First, the big question everyone’s asking — how does one leave their partner so suddenly? Burden’s husband never mentioned feeling unhappy in their marriage, even when he was actively in an affair with his coworker. So how could he leave her with no explanation?
As Burden takes you through his past and his relationship with her, it raises my eyebrows. His own father’s absence, his drive for success to counter the hardships of his childhood and their rush to get married were all details that made me think about why it could have all unraveled.
Even so, that still wasn’t enough. I thought to myself, ‘Didn’t he turn those narratives around about his old family life? He had a supporting, loving family of his own now, was that not what he wanted? Why would he leave?’
But even though so many questions remain unanswered, I slowly started to notice my focus shifting. I started thinking less about why he left and more about Burden’s lived experiences and responses to the situation. Unlike her husband, who presented no warning of his departure, Burden’s entire story serves as a cautionary tale to countless women on the dangers of an uneven marriage.
Throughout her time married to him, Burden mentions never being in control of their finances. Actually, she didn’t have any knowledge of their income. Every time she tried to intervene, her husband took control, declaring that he would provide and she would care for the house and kids.
And this only made it worse when he left. Never having contributed to their life financially, Burden had no knowledge to navigate this new life dynamic without her husband.
Sound familiar? All over platforms, women are increasingly saying phrases like “19 year old wife” “no degree,” and “I don’t have a job.” This book opens your eyes to how deeply concerning this is. In an instant, these girls’ husbands could decide that suddenly, they actually don’t want that life anymore, don’t want their family anymore and don’t want her anymore.
And the worst part is that, unfortunately, men can easily gain an unfair advantage in how these terms end, especially since their wives may already be submissive to them. Just as we saw Burden’s husband try to manipulate her throughout their divorce, men’s voices can overpower what the rest of their partner’s life will look like. That is why this book is so important; it presents the reality of marriages with this dynamic.
While some may argue that they didn’t enjoy this book because of the financial privilege the author has, I have to disagree. While privilege is present, in this situation it doesn’t take away from its lessons to the reader.
Yes, while I was reading it, I noticed that this was no ordinary family. Learning that Burden is a descendant of successful individuals, as well as reading phrases like “summer house,” “Rolex watches” and “boarding school,” I started thinking about this element of wealth in the narrative. While Burden’s husband did not leave her financially depleted, we actually learn that near the finalization of their divorce, he almost does.
Now think back to the trend I mentioned that is gaining traction — young wives who don’t have jobs, their only role is tending to the house. What would happen to them if their partners followed through with the same depleting decision Burden’s husband almost did?
And that’s the bottom line — the patriarchy doesn’t care if you have money. If a man can feed you, he can starve you. And it almost happened to Burden.
Lastly, Burden notes that this story was not published as an act of revenge. She simply retells her experience as she lived it. As a journalism major, I enjoyed hearing this decision. This allows the reader to feel the emotions themselves. It makes the lessons even more meaningful because it really makes you pay attention to the harmful dynamics to stay away from in a relationship.
Those harmful dynamics you ask? Having no voice, no financial involvement and no control over your life because of your marriage.
It was amazing as I read this, slowly watching Burden gain her voice and independence. This book brings you through so much trauma and hurt, but it ends on such a high note. It ends with a woman who finally finds her footing after a nightmare situation unfolded.
And most importantly, it serves as a reminder. While we as readers alongside Burden may never know why her husband left her, we are left with something much more valuable than an explanation. We are left with wisdom and knowledge, learning from Burden’s experiences so we can identify healthy dynamics ourselves.
So don’t be scared of living your dreams and getting married, even though this story was terrifying. Fulfill your life with your partner, but remember you are a team –- not a lifeboat.
