The one thing that always seems to get me in trouble is the tone of my voice. Unintended, I’ve been known to put people on the defense not by what I actually say, but the tone in which I say it. Again, full disclaimer, I have no intention of doing this (unless, of course, I do – yikes), but somewhere along the line the translation seems to go wrong.
When I was younger, my instinct was to point the finger. Obviously, it was not my fault that they misinterpreted me, that’s clearly on them. However, I grew up a little when I finally noticed the three fingers pointing right back at me, and I decided I needed an attitude adjustment just like my mother told me for years.
So what do I mean by giving people the benefit of the doubt? Well, it’s simple really, especially when the social interaction is with someone you know closely. Give people the benefit of the doubt by having enough logical discernment to say hey, I know this person ultimately has a good heart and means well. Afterall, wouldn’t you like that same courtesy afforded to you in return?
I know I would, because sometimes I’m hangry and I just need a Snickers bar in order to calm down. However, I have begrudgingly accepted the fact that I can expect that courtesy from other people only after I have practiced it myself.
The other day, I complimented the clerk bagging my groceries. Besides an unenthused glance, I was completely and utterly ignored. Now instinctually, I would want to be offended and point the finger. Instead of doing that though, I was more considerate.
Maybe she was tired and had a long day. Maybe she has a partner and they got into a fight. Maybe she was overwhelmed by family or bills she has to pay.
Ultimately, I don’t know what made her look at me as though I had struck a conversation about the eating habits of sheep in the mountainous regions of Central Europe. All I could do was decide my own reaction. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and told her to have a goodnight. I stayed true to my character, and it wasn’t anything special that deserves acknowledgment or reward.
Kindness and simple courtesy should just be the standard. Don’t let circumstances, or the quality of other people’s character, influence your own. In the room of good intentions, nothing is worth being offended over. Therefore, give people the benefit of the doubt more because this world could use your kindness.