I remember the day my first period decided to surprise me with its presence. I was wearing all white — because of course I was — waiting to leave for a basketball game. A mother can only do so much to inform her child about what to expect. As an active reader, my mom thought it best to give me the classic American Girl Doll puberty book — The Care and Keeping of You. I will say, it was helpful. There were many facts and stories to help me prepare for the adjustment period approaching in my life. However, no one could prepare me for the secrecy behind period talk.
I have heard all of the many names women use when talking about periods. “Aunt Flow is visiting” was more common when my mom was growing up. Many girls my age would say that it was “shark week.” I’ve recently heard people use the term “red tide,” which makes me think a war is about to start. To be fair, for some women, it is.
The pain women go through is mild for some and unexplainable for others. I’ve read articles where women mention their period cramps were worse than or equal to labor pains. It is terrifying to imagine but also terrifying to explain.
Growing up, there was a mysterious tone when periods were discussed. I remember being on my period in middle school, trying to hide the sound of a pad being opened in a full bathroom. It was fine to talk about with my best friend and — of course — my mom. But there was an unmentioned rule that it was not an open conversation. Boys — and judgmental girls — were not allowed to hear about it. It was made to feel embarrassing if anyone but your close friends knew it was your “time of the month,” which is another phrase I hate because men will use it as an explanation for certain behaviors.
Periods are natural. They are a part of the female body, and experiencing them should not feel shameful. Men need to be taught about the female reproductive cycle just as much as women are. Without this education, periods will always be a mystery to men and something to deem odd or abnormal.
To all the moms — and dads — who will one day have to prepare their children for puberty, I have but one piece of advice. Teach them everything you can — not just the physical process but about the social stigma around these topics. Puberty and periods are a part of life, and they should not be embarrassing. Letting your child come to you with questions and reacting positively instead of being squeamish can go a long way.
Children today should be allowed to feel comfortable in their own skin, especially during changing and challenging experiences. Be there for them; it is what they may need the most.