To dos for this week: Ace the quiz. Go to leadership conference. Work a shift or two. Pick out bridesmaids’ dresses?
Each year some collegiettes find themselves answering one of the biggest questions of their lives. When they say yes to a proposal they enter into a whole new realm of adulthood. Being engaged means much more than wearing a diamond ring. It can lead to both more happiness and more stress, especially if the bride-to-be is trying to balance college life with a successful engagement.
In 1960 the average female was 20 years old when she got engaged. Fast-forward 50 years, and the current U.S. woman is almost 26 when she gets engaged. Why the rise in age? Many women are waiting to become more mature and financially stable before they make a lifelong commitment. Still the engaged college population is around and ready to take the leap.
Is there a right answer either way? Is it a good idea to get engaged in college? Of course it’s a personal decision, but there are a few external factors to consider before taking that step in a relationship. First think about the duration of the relationship prior to engagement. Couples who have been together for a few years, or even since high school, have obviously had more time to get to know one another. They will have a better idea of how their potential mate handles the ups and downs of life. Then they won’t be left surprised by any negative characteristics of their partner once they tie the knot.
It is also important to consider what your plans are after college. What is your career going to be? Where do you want to live? Will you be able to support yourselves as a married couple? This engaged collegiette’s blog highlights the challenges she will face once she’s married. These obstacles are mainly financial because let’s face it, two people are more expensive than one. Talking about money can be scary, but it’s extremely important to be open with your fiancé about how much being married will cost.
Other collegiettes have an additional challenge when they carry out a long-distance engagement. “I think anytime you try to make a long-distance relationship work, it is difficult,” says Ana, an engaged sophomore at Mizzou. “I know personally I always try to treat [the relationship] as though we are in the same city, and that doesn’t always work. He’s definitely trying his best to improve his communication skills, and I am learning every day that relaxing and not being so uptight about everything can improve [our] relationship.”
But enough about the difficult stuff. Some people would call engagement one of the happiest times in their lives, and engaged collegiettes at Mizzou are no exception. Emily, a recently engaged senior, values the stability she gets from her relationship. “The best thing about being engaged would have to be knowing that you have someone who will always be there for you no matter what,” she says. “It’s a great feeling knowing that you have found the one person who you were meant to be with.”
In fact some studies show that couples married younger might have happier marriages down the road than a couple who waits to get married. Once you’re established in your single lifestyle and your career, it can be harder to make the switch into married life. Younger couples grow into the real world together and develop similar habits for handling any challenges that arise after college graduation.
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Ana agrees that there are perks to being engaged. “The best thing about being engaged in college would have to be all that you get to experience with a lot of your friends,” she says. Girls engaged in college have the added benefit of having all of their friends around to share in their joy – and to help ease the stress of planning a wedding!
That isn’t to say there won’t be difficulties for an engaged collegiette as she is still in school, though. Emily says that the biggest obstacle in her engagement is planning everything while still trying to focus on school. “Another challenge that we run into is finding time to spend with each other between both of us having class, homework, tests, outside activities and work,” Emily says, “But we still manage to find time for each other!”
Despite some speed bumps, being engaged in college can be a journey worth embarking on. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you want your engagement to be a smooth ride.
1. Don’t ignore your pre-engagement life.
It can be easy to get caught up in something when you are really excited about it. But don’t be that girl who only talks about her wedding whenever she is with her friends. They will most likely ask about it if you give them a chance!
2. Take it one day at a time.
College and work and planning a wedding? Thinking about each thing you have to do all at once will be insanely daunting. Make a to-do list and focus on one task at a time. You don’t want to resent your wedding because it’s stressing you out.
3. Make time for your honey.
That being said, though, don’t let your wedding planning interfere with the time you spend with your fiancé. He is the most important component of all this wedding business, so don’t leave him in the dust!
4. Enjoy the moment.
Ideally being engaged will be a very unique time in your life. Make a lot of memories! Before you know it, you’ll be walking down the aisle.
It takes a lot of hard work to be engaged in college, and you might have to become insanely good at multitasking. But in the end you’ll find that it was all worth it for the reward – a lifelong commitment with the guy you love!
Sources:
http://www.thefastertimes.com/lifeaftercollege/2010/02/01/jumping-the-gun-getting-engaged-in-college/
http://reportermag.com/article/05-07-2010/getting-engaged-in-college
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2005-11-16-young-wed_x.htm
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-11-09-delayed-marriage_N.htm