Several years ago, I heard a motivational speaker for teenagers emphasize a point that isn’t talked about too often: today’s generation is better than each generation before it. We are breaking our parents’ records in all athletic competitions, creating technology that’s never been dreamed about and striving for higher grades while simultaneously having more involvement while in school. With that being said, it’s also tougher to grow up in an age where there’s an unsaid expectation to be better, while in a time period of social media that encourages us to constantly share only the best parts of our lives.
Some of the impossible expectations that are set, even set by ourselves, are now leaking into the parts of life that are supposed to bring us relaxation, joy and fulfillment: our hobbies. As someone who grew up with both a highly competitive spirit and an incredibly perfectionistic attitude, I can vouch that I have fallen victim to making my hobbies something that I strive to be the best at. On the flip side of that, when I fall short and learn I’m not good at something that I initially picked up as a fun activity, I equate my shortcomings with it not being fun.
This past year, I’ve worked to unlearn these habits that take the joy out of my hobbies and turn them into a competition that nobody asked to be a part of. Honestly, I think everyone should be doing the same. A hobby is something one does for fun and relaxation to bring joy to their life while also making it more interesting. It is not something that we must compete in to be the best at.
My favorite hobbies are painting, writing and dancing. Yet, I can’t argue that I’m particularly gifted in any of these things. When I paint, it often bleeds outside the lines and doesn’t look exactly like what I envisioned. For a long time, I stopped talking about my love of painting with others because I couldn’t share work that I was proud of when my highly artistic friends were creating things that I thought should be in museums. Even the work that I was most proud of, I was shy to share.
As for my writing, I find most joy in writing poems with a sonnet structure. In high school, anyone who knew me knew this. However, when I got to college, I realized how many people were better at writing poems than I was and, like the flip of a switch, I stopped reading them to everyone. I had made up my mind that if I wasn’t writing exactly as others were, that meant I wasn’t good enough. Finally, I started dancing when I was the only one in the room because I thought my lack of experience in professional dance classes growing up meant that I wasn’t supposed to share something I loved to do with others.
As cliché as the saying is, comparison truly is the thief of joy. In today’s age, it’s stealing more joy by convincing the younger generations that not being the best at a specific hobby is a sign that the hobby shouldn’t be pursued further. However, our personal goals in life should have less to do with being the best and more to do with living a life that produces unending fulfillment.
To re-teach myself how to love life through appreciation for the simple things that fulfill me, I re-taught myself all of my former hobbies and I pursued them loudly. I began taking photos of everything I painted and telling people closest to me about how excited I was to create them. I started reading my poems out loud to others, especially the ones that I thought were most true to my feelings. I started dancing everywhere I liked music, and if there was no music, I’d dance to whatever I was listening to in my headphones.
If we collectively make hobbies something we do to find joy, they can once again be things that give us the peace and fulfillment we desperately search for in all that we do. Fulfillment comes when we stop comparing ourselves, we celebrate others for their successes and we live out lives that we enjoy without that enjoyment coming from the praises of others. So, restart that hobby you quit to bring back meaning and passion to your life.