Kyle XY: Purity

Question:  I’m your average college girl, but I come with a catch. I plan on holding off on the better part of the physical front until I “get a ring on it”, any suggestions on how I survive this cutthroat-dating scene?

You, my friend, are not an average college girl. 

While many of us cling to each other’s nakedness like panda cubs to Al Gore, you cling to a forgotten ideal. 

I applaud you.

Unfortunately for you, not many of us possess that last vestige of hormonal repression.  Whoever thought to sell baby clothes in the bookstore is now bathing in Patrón and eating steak cut from a cow that was fed steak, itself.

In fact, I would argue that most students approach their college virginity as they would Sharon Ryan, curb stomping it into oblivion only to realize that they just committed a serious felony when they awake the next morning.

Fortunately for all you felons out there, Plan B makes up for a lack of Plan A.

In essence, it takes a special individual to hold off on what has increasingly become a common starting point in collegiate relationships, rather than a finish line. 

Congratulations to you on running your own race.

Now, that’s not to say that there won’t be ups and downs along the way.  Patience is a virtue and patience will find you somebody who respects you and your body as much as you do. 

Trust me, there will be guys who say all the right things only to attempt to storm your beaches of Normandy and give you the “D-Day.” 

Just remember, there is little to nothing arousing about World War II asides from the end result (GO ‘MURICA).  And that’s what you’re looking for, is it not: an end result justified by the time and effort that came before it?

You have the power to be as selective as you please in finding the young man/woman that is willing to stay the course towards that end result. 

You’re in no rush.  If you’re a freshman or sophomore, odds are you won’t meet the right one.  If you’re a junior, you’re getting warmer.  And if you’re a senior, put a ring on that son of a b**** and erupt like Vesuvius.  

But, first and foremost, your search is only as strong as your vow. 

Sex is better in love.  But, sex is not love. 

Any individual who pressures you to compromise your moral code is compromising your trust.

You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to find “the one.”  Happiness is the convergence of self-actualization and the right person to share it with.

This right person probably won’t be found unconscious at Harpo’s or naked in a campus fountain.  But, if you involve yourself on campus with groups that reflect your goals and virtues, you might just run into them. 

You already have the upper hand, friend.  You’re the ultimate in playing hard to get. 

You deserve a man who’s willing to work for your love before he gets hard, himself.

The B****boii Update:  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?  I turn away for one godforsaken second and the next thing you know there are a mere 4 Bitchboiis as opposed to the original 5.  I swear, the only thing I’m worse at than being funny is raising fish.  Please keep the boiis and me in your prayers as I search for the corpse in the water filter.  This is no longer parenting.  This is genocide.

Next Week I Answer: What are you supposed to do when your ex comes to the same school as you?

Keep asking questions, guys!  If it’s something that makes you put your tailbone between your legs, then it’s perfect for me!

Photo Credits

collegecandy.com – cosmo.ph – totalfratmove.com