How to beat the curse of 19 and make it more than a filler year.
Why is 19 so bad?
This year has not felt any different, but when I would tell people that I was turning 19, it was always followed by horror stories. They all say that you are going to go through some of the toughest times of your life. Whether it’s gaining independence, feeling things so deeply, having a “canon event” or, the most common one for a teenage girl, having the most gut-wrenching breakup of your life, which might not even come from an actual relationship but a situationship. So why have these theories? Why are they following me everywhere, on my For You page, in my day-to-day conversations or in the music I listen to? From Taylor Swift to Olivia Rodrigo, I’m telling you, it’s everywhere once you start noticing how much people talk about it in the media we consume. I can’t escape this internet phenomenon of the 19th curse.
Along with this, you also have to ask the question: is this just a filler age? Or do we just make it a filler age? You become an adult at 18. At 20, you leave behind being a teenager, and when you are 21, we all know what happens — you actually feel like an adult. So what is so special about being 19? When I was telling my friend about my birthday party that I was hosting for my 19th, she said exactly this, “It’s so cool that you are actually celebrating your 19th birthday; nobody really does anything big since it’s just a filler year.” This left me taken aback because, to me, it’s so simple why I would celebrate, and that is…
Why not?
I love celebrating, I love hosting and I love being around everyone I love. It is that simple. If I could give anyone advice, it would be to celebrate everything, big or small. Yes, 19 might be doomed from the start, or a filler year, but you don’t have to treat it like one. Use it as an excuse to invite your “friend crush” over, hang out with people that you don’t see often or just be around all your loved ones.
It’s also okay to have a day for yourself. Go get your freebies from every drink or sweet treat place in your town (please note that you need to put your birthday in a week before, or you will not be able to get freebies; I made this mistake). Or just treat yourself to a day that you love. I think sometimes that we forget that your birthday is to celebrate being alive, and that every year actually does deserve to be celebrated.
Along with this, every year in college is worth celebrating. You are young and in the same place as your friends for four years. Once we graduate, there is truly no telling where we will all end up. This is something you have to take advantage of. But how to celebrate is the question that is likely still on your mind.
The Dinner Party
My favorite way to celebrate is with a low-lit dinner with all the people I love. In college, you are often eating fast food or on a meal plan, so it’s nice to have a slow-paced or home-cooked meal. The dinner party is the best way to do this. You can pick a theme or just make it a space you can enjoy.
When I throw a dinner party, I always channel the energy of one video: influencer Quenlin Blackwell’s dinner party. All of her friends are dancing in the living room to The Mamas and the Papas, “California Dreamin’.” This video has the ultimate dinner party vibe that I always go for.
This year, I did the theme “Anything That Brings Me Joy.” I decorated my dining room with low-light fixtures (we hate overhead lights here), polka dot streamers, stars, a draw yourself section and a cat banner. I sent my invites with all the information, I told my guests to dress in anything that makes you feel cool. It was perfect to me in every way.
For a dinner party, you can cook a whole meal or have everyone bring a dish, which is a more budget-friendly option. Depending on the group, I will seat everyone in a certain order. This lets you invite anyone without being concerned with small talk between your different friend groups. You know them best, so you can seat someone next to someone else they would be able to have more conversation with than just “how are you doing.”
I also like to plan an activity, such as playing a card game, or my friends’ favorite is playing the childhood game Mafia. Along with this, you can have a craft. I have had my friends make flower crowns, birthday crowns or my most recent, which was drawing themselves.
But you can just eat the cake
At the end of the day, you don’t have to do any of this. You can celebrate your 19th birthday or any birthday in style by just sharing a meal with your friends or family. That’s always what makes my birthday so special: being surrounded by people I love, in an environment where we just get to exist. For two or more hours, you are not worried about school, work or anything else; you just get to be with everyone in the same place and at the same time.
One way my 19th felt special was because of the people I was around was when my friends sang me Olivia Rodrigo’s, “Teenage Dream” instead of the classic Happy Birthday song.
So yes, turning 19 might be a curse, or it could be a filler year, but it can also be a year to celebrate how you want. You can always make a wish, blow out your candles and eat the cake and that’s completely okay. In the end, however you decide to celebrate, it’s celebrating in style!