Last week, we learned how to “Lose a Guy in 10 Days”, Her Campus style. But what if you don’t want to lose him? What if your man is someone that you’d like to stick around? That’s right, Her Campus Mizzou has got your back for this one too.
The beginnings of a relationship are the most delicate moments of your future with your new guy. We’ve all fallen victim to the dating-demons that haunt us as we turn ourselves into something we are not. We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve been a little too needy, a little too available, and a little too paranoid. So, in order to keep Mr. Wonderful around, pay attention, and learn How Not to Lose a Guy in 10 Days:
1. Give Him Space
This is the cardinal rule of dating advice that no woman should ever go without. It is perfectly acceptable to let a guy know that you are interested in him by sending a flirty message, complimenting him, or paying a little extra attention to him at a party, but by no means is it ok to smother him. Do not blow-up his phone with text messages, do not leave multiple voicemails on his phone and do not “like” every picture on his Facebook page. A boy does not need to know what you are doing every minute of the day, nor do you need to know what he is doing every minute of the day. If he doesn’t reply to you right away, don’t worry. There IS a reasonable explanation, maybe he is just busy. If he’s into you, he will put in the extra effort to talk to you. A little sense of mystery can be both enthralling and attractive, so why not reel in your catch?
2. Appreciate him for who he is, and who he isn’t
Nobody is perfect, so don’t expect him to be. Everybody has their quirks, including you, so don’t jump to conclusions too quickly. Overreacting and drama-creating is not a cute trait to have. Remember that this is the BEGINNING of a potential future, not a betrothal. Just breathe. Yes, his jokes may be cheesy, but that doesn’t mean it’s a deal breaker. There is no such thing as “changing a man”, so don’t expect him to be something he’s not. Nothing will send a guy running in the opposite direction faster than you trying to control him. Stick to making sure the things that matter – like values and goals – match yours before you go cutting to the chase. Appreciate him for who he is. Maybe you’ll discover something about yourself that you didn’t realize before, like that you really do love “American Horror Story” (while in his arms at least).
3. Confidence is Sexy
Would you want a man that wasn’t confident in himself? Of course not! Confidence is empowering, inspiring, and sexy. You are wonderful just the way you are, and he sees that or he wouldn’t want to be seeing you. A man should be something that compliments you, not something that you depend on. It’s ok to know what you want. It’s ok to love yourself. It’s ok to be proud of who you are. Confidence is a sign that you can handle any type of situation, even if you have to laugh at yourself. A confident attitude will prove to a guy that you are secure and ready for a relationship. Confidence shows him that you know what you’re worth, and that maybe he will be lucky enough to have you.
4. Pay Attention
Make him feel like the amazing guy he is. A little extra effort on your part is sure to get the ball rolling on his side, so try it out. As mentioned previously, it’s important to keep your sense of mystery, but nothing is wrong with a little encouragement. We are living in a new dating age, so making the first move is acceptable, even admired, by most guys. Thank him for a great study session, pick up an extra soda for him at the vending machine, or compliment him on the new kicks he’s rocking. A little ego-boost for him will give him the green light that you’re interested, so let him know, and he’ll stick around.
5. Keep it Classy
As dignified women, it is very important to act like the ladies we were raised to be. A man should not force you to lower your standards; he should raise his own standards to meet yours. Have you ever heard the saying, “Why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free?” It’s true, and sadly enough we witness too many broken hearts as a result of giving up too much too soon. If you jump right into a physical relationship, the emotional one will be non-existent, and so will his commitment. Self-respect and dignity are admirable traits to display. If he is worth your time, he WILL treat you like a princess. After all, Prince Charming doesn’t want to kiss a toad either.
These pointers aren’t set in stone, but they are a great place to start. An independent, attentive and classy woman will always end up on top. Don’t be afraid to put your best foot forward, strut your stuff, and try out these tips. Did they work for you? Let us know in the comment box below!