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The 8 Stages You Go Through when Getting a Parking Ticket in Columbia

We've all been there. If you haven't, we could all take a lesson from you. It's that gut-wrenching feeling you get when you see that yellow ticket taunting you on your windshield. You go through the mother of all emotional roller coasters that lasts all of two minutes, and this is exactly how it goes:

Stage One: Confidence

Even though I parked illegally and haven't paid my meter in three hours, today is my lucky day and I will not, I CANNOT, get a parking ticket.

Stage Two: Panic

What is on my windshield. WHAT IS ON MY WINDSHIELD? I swear to God. 

Stage Three: Denial

There's no way I got a ticket today. It's a flyer. One of those coupons from Gumby's. A bird, a plane, but not a parking ticket.

Stage Four: Utter Outrage

Which self-entitled, neon vest-wearing demon decided to ruin my day today? WHICH ONE? *Aggressive driving ensues*

Stage Five: The Victim

How could they do this to me? I am a NICE person. 

Stage Six: The Final Break Down

Dad's going to kill me. This is my fifth ticket in two weeks. Why can't I do anything right? I'm an awful human.

Stage Seven: Bargaining

It's not too bad, right? Maybe if I send them a polite e-mail they'll take it back? Yeah. Yes. That'll work.

Stage Eight: Acceptance

Over it. Can I student charge this?

A writer and creator with a weird sense of humor. A big fan of the golden rule and an even bigger fan of the Blackhawks. Chicago-born, Mizzou-made. HCXO
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