Gopher Confessions: Summer Edition

Now that we’re in the midst of Finals Week and the weather getting warmer, you might have caught yourself daydreaming about your summer break either here on campus or back at home. Those warm days and nights are always filled with plenty of memories, so we asked you to share some of your craziest ones here:

“I moved somewhere to start an internship and was perusing Tinder when I first got there. Ended up matching and chatting with someone I later realized was one of my coworkers.”

- Anonymous

“So I was quite the Tinder expert this summer. I was talking to this one guy for a few days and he invited me over to his house. We were talking for a bit and he put his arm around me and literally nudged my shoulder a few times, which was apparently the signal to start making out (this boy was not smooth at all). We were making out for not even a minute when he asked if I wanted to go to the guest bedroom (couldn't do his room cuz there were security cameras lol). I said yeah and this kid literally was going to keep all his clothes on and just barely pull his pants down. I had to ask him to take his shirt off otherwise he wouldn't have. He also was not going to take any part of my top off either, I had to do that all myself. Once I finally took my bra off, this guy grabbed my boobs SO HARD. I was feeling it in the moment and enjoyed it, however the next day comes and I have a bruise covering half my boob that didn't go away for month. Not only did I get a bruise, but from the time we started making out to when he was done, it was maybe 6 minutes max. AND THEN THE WORST PART: the condom broke. Thankfully I am on birth control so I wasn't worried about anything there. But then he tells me the condom had broke in half, AKA half of the condom was somewhere inside me. I just left right away after, scurried home to dig out a condom stuck inside me. I was laying on my back searching for this condom when I get a text from him saying, "lol the condom just folded over it didn't break in half sorry haha". May have been funny on his side but was NOT funny for me as I was digging around trying to find this stupid condom that wasn't even there for 20 minutes.”

- Anonymous

“This summer I worked on a dude ranch out in Montana. Monday nights were always margarita nights at the local bar and most of the staff would go along. One Monday we were way more ~drunk~gone than usual and I started flirting with one of the guys and we were dancing all over the bar together. Later he brought me home and I got down and dirty with him in his truck outside the staff dorms. We were about to have sex when someone turned their high beams on into the truck! I immediately pulled my pants up and ran out of the truck back to the dorms (still with my bra unclasped). To this day we still haven't talked about that night, but I've definitely sworn off margaritas.

- Anonymous

“One time I hooked up with a guy from a frat, and he didn't even walk me home because he wanted to catch the last quarter of the football game. LOL”

- Anonymous 

“It was the last week of summer, and I had decided that my last thing to do before I got busy was go on one date. So, I, being the college student that I am, decided that I should download Tinder to find Mr. Right. Little did I know what would be in store for me. I decided to meet my ‘date’ down by East River Plaza to go for a walk. It was a beautiful, summer day -- Why not? As we are walking down the path, he is telling me all about how he loves to come to this spot. When I asked why I was expecting something along the lines of ‘I love the scenery’ or ‘The water is calming.’ His reply: ‘I like to come here and scream sometimes. Do you want to try?’ That date quickly came to a close.”

- Anonymous

“I went to see Hamilton *girly shriek* in Chicago with my family. It’s amazing. 10/10 would recommend. But as we were waiting to get into the theater we heard sirens and of course thought nothing of it in a big city like Chicago. Well, final curtain goes and we go back to our car and it had been completely burnt to a crisp. Apparently some guy had parked his car and heard a funny sound so popped the hood and it burst into flames. It destroyed 12 cars in the official Hamilton Parking garage.”

- Emily H.

“I met this guy who lived down the hall from me. We ended up hooking up one night when we were both really drunk. We did all this while knowing he had a girlfriend, and she lived in the residence hall right next to ours. We met up one other time after that and he still hits me up regularly. Oh, and they’re still dating.”

- Anonymous

Sounds like quite an eventful summer to me. Thanks for sharing your stories, Gophers! Good luck on Finals!