Forgiving others can be difficult. Extremely difficult. Whether you were hurt by a significant other, a family member or even a close friend, it’s hard to get past that feeling of betrayal in order to live your best life. I went through a similar situation my last semester when I was extremely hurt by a friend of mine, and I’ve been working ever since then to reflect and get past it in order to move on. I don’t want that situation to hold me back in any way, and I believe that to be true for everyone. With that in mind, I’ve compiled some tips on how you can find your inner peace!
Identify what you’re feeling and what’s causing you to feel that way.
It’s okay to feel hurt. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to cry and scream if you need to. Everything that you’re feeling is completely valid. Take time to identify which emotions you’re feeling and identify what’s causing you to feel that way. This way you’ll be able to find what’s truly bothering you, and discovering what you need to do to make things better.
Take some time to cool down and take care of yourself.
Give yourself a break from everything for awhile. Your health and well-being are a top priority, and there’s no need to make yourself more stressed out by focusing on the people that hurt you. Take a mental health day. Do what you need to do to be happy and relax. This will also give you some time to think about how you want to respond and act next in the situation, and prevent you from making rash decisions.
Understand the other point of view.
It may not make any sense to you why this person did what they did. At first, I let my frustration get the best of me and didn’t even consider what my friend was going through at the time that made her do what she did. The first year of college can be a difficult time for everyone, and I should’ve seen that she was struggling just as much as I was. Try to understand what the other person is dealing with at the time because sometimes we all just make mistakes and are trying our best to work it all out.
Focus more on the present and stop reliving the experience.
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that we think the other person’s actions were acceptable. Its about letting go of anger and resentment that’s eating away at our lives the longer that we hold on to it. There’s no way to go back in the past to change what happened. All we can do is keep moving forward. Use the pain that you felt to help you in making future decisions, and educating others about better ways to treat others based on your own personal experiences.
Remember better times and start making new memories.
It’s easy to forget about all the good things in your life when something bad like this happens. Take the time to call up a friend or family member and chat about fun memories that you both shared. Make plans to do the things that you love to make even more great memories with the people you care about. No matter how hurt you may feel, it’s important to remember that life goes on. By doing what makes your soul happy, you can slowly begin to forget about any negative emotions you may have had and focus more on yourself and your well being.
Live your best life and prove them wrong!
There’s no better way to show the world how strong you are than by getting back to being the amazing, courageous person we know you to be. Go for that leadership position. Nail that interview. Crush that internship. Spread your happiness like confetti. There are so many better things that are worth your time and energy, and it’s important to make time for all those wonderful things in your life.
Remember that you’re worth it gophers!