It’s showtime! I sat down, grabbed some snacks and watched the entire show. Here are some of my thoughts.
1. Any show that starts with Justin Timberlake is quality.
2. BREAK IT DOWN JUSTIN.
3. You can’t just call out Denzel Washington like that. Bold move, Jimmy.
4. Meryl Streep could kill me and I would be like “Please Queen.”
5. Okay, so how political are we going to get tonight?
6. Don’t be mean to Matt Damon, please.
7. “Remember when we thought last year’s Oscars were racist?” SHOOK.
8. JIMMY, PREACH ABOUT UNFAIR WEIGHT STANDARDS OF ACTRESSES.
9. Wait, has Jimmy just made the same joke, like, four times?
10. **Standing and screaming for Meryl Streep**
11. I love a good montage.
12. Robin Williams is making me cry all over again.
13. DEV PATEL BROUGHT HIS MOM CRYING.
14. I want Dev to win.
15. No, I want Mahershala Ali to win.
16. YES! He won Best Supporting Actor, I was right.
17. Very good speech, we’re starting the night off right.
18. Look at that strut, go Kate McKinnon.
19. “The Academy Award winning film Suicide Squad,” that’s a scary phrase.
20. The ladies from Hidden Figures are all KILLING the style game.
21. I’m tearing up, Katherine Johnson is a class act.
22. Very mixed feelings about this OJ documentary win right now.
23. No one will speak while Lin Manuel Miranda is singing.
24. AULI’I CRAVALHO IS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT.
25. I’m just sitting here smiling and admiring her TBH.
26. Oh no, Auli’i got hit in the face. Awkward.
27. These student academy award winners are already way more successful as me.
28. Sunny Pawar is the cutest person in attendance, for sure. Sorry, Ryan Gosling.
29. Raining candy is all I want in life.
30. Chris Evans is such a babe.
31. I love shout-outs to moms.
32. Is this another montage?
33. YES, IT IS. I’M GOING TO CRY AGAIN.
34. “Something women seem to be better at than men, is opposing without hatred.” My new favorite quote.
35. The Best Supporting Actress category is stacked, I want them all to win.
36. Viola Davis always looks incredible in everything.
37. She’s amazing in every single way (said through slight sobbing).
37. Charlize Theron is a glorious human.
38. SHE’S ON STAGE WITH HER IDOL I CAN’T.
39. That speech hit hard.
40. I thought Sting was dead…?
41. Yay! Piper was so cute.
42. “I’m against any form of wall that separates us.” PREACH.
43. I’m sorry, but I don’t get the appeal of Jamie Dornan.
44. Gary from Chicago is an icon.
45. If Ryan Gosling kissed me on the cheek I would pass out.
46. This Lion King moment is everything I’ve wanted.
47. “To save one life is to save all of humanity,” is my new favorite quote.
48. Oh that’s a lot of yellow.
49. Fun Fact: One of my friends sold jeans to Leslie Mann.
50. I just noticed Meryl Streep’s pant-dress combo and I’m in love.
51. OSCARS MEAN TWEETS THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
52. Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone are gifts to this world.
53. Is that a crushed velvet blazer Samuel L. Jackson? What a baller.
54. WHAT A SHOCKER LA LA LAND WINS FOR MUSIC.
55. “That’s not fair, Lin deserved it!!” I’m so sad.
56. “This is for all the kids who sing in the rain and to all the moms who let them.” CRYING.
57. Time to cry.
58. GENE, ANTON, MARY, PRINCE, DEBBIE, CARRIE.
59. “Ben Affleck and guest” OMG. Poor Matt Damon.
60. I don’t know when this whole Jimmy-Matt conflict started, but I love it.
61. Taraji trying to get Octavia to share her cookies is all of us.
62. Brie Larson looks classy, elegant, and aspire to be her.
63. Another stacked category for Best Actor, they all should win.
64. Except Casey Affleck, ew. (find out why here)
65. I’m feeling aggressive right now, Casey should not have won.
66. I forgot that Leo would be back, BLESS.
67. YAY EMMA, I feel like a proud mother.
68. Like Olive Penderghast has just won an Academy Award.
69. I would like Moonlight to win Best Picture, calling it now.
70. REALLY? Like was La La Land THAT good???????????
71. Oh crap, we have another Steve Harvey moment.
72. Actually this is amazing, and awkward, and I am so happy that Moonlight won.