As women, we sometimes assume that our partners spend an obscene amount of their time talking about their sex lives (which they may), but what’s to say we don’t do the same? We can’t help swapping sexual successes and catastrophes as well! Don’t get us wrong, we love and appreciate (almost) everything they do for us in bed, but there are some things our partners do that drive us absolutely crazy.
1. Thinking the end-point is their orgasm.
The “sex is over once I cum” mentality has got to go. Sex should be about mutual pleasure for all parties involved, not just one.
2. Looking for the gold star…
Giving me a life-changing orgasm isn’t just another achievement for you and your massive ego. Make us orgasm for our pleasure, not for your own personal gain.
3. Refusing to give us oral because it’s “gross.”
You think giving oral is our favorite hobby? We wouldn’t be doing it if we didn’t want to, but we’re doing it to pleasure you, and we’d love it if you returned the favor.
4. Not kissing us post-oral.
Time for a proverbial spit-take. Do you think your genitals are so sacred that you refuse to kiss something that has touched them? Get over it, or get used to us not going down on you.
6. Wearing socks during sex.
Yes, studies show that it can increase orgasm, but it’s also a surefire way to turn us off. Doesn’t matter if you’re sporting the tube socks, a Nike mid-calf, wool socks or socks with pizzas on them. Do us both a favor and take them off.
7. Saying they don’t want to use protection because it “feels better without it,” or they “feel closer to you when there isn’t something between you.”
You care more about your pleasure than STDs or unplanned pregnancy? I hope no sex feels better than protection-less sex!
8. Unconsented BDSM.
It’s awesome when you take control in the bedroom, and we love it most of the time, but try asking us if we want you to leave handprints on our asses. Some of us love it, but don’t just assume we do.
9. Make us feel like we have to fake an orgasm…
Because it will be too much of a shot to your ego if we don’t.
10. Skipping foreplay.
You go down a waterslide without water, and get back to me on how that feels. Not only is foreplay super fun, it makes everything go a lot smoother. Literally.
11. Not even trying to figure out what satisfies us.
It’s not too much for us to ask, and it’s not too hard to figure out. If you’re struggling, have us show you what to do. Look it up. Watch a damn YouTube video or something. Do what works on you, or at least try!
To our partners: your efforts in the bedroom by no means go unnoticed, but there are some things we can’t stand. While us asking you to not wear socks in the bedroom seems silly, other things you do (or fail to do) to us are simply demeaning. So please, try not to be so selfish during sex, it’s not sexy. Put a little more effort into making sex the best experience possible for both of us, and we’ll do the same in return.
To our readers: looking for the perfect way to drop a hint to your partner? Share this article on Facebook and tag them, super subtle. Just kidding! If these things are driving you crazy or making you uncomfortable with your partner, you may need to have a little chat. Feel free to use this list as a reference, and know that Her Campus Minnesota always has your back.