I met my roommates through the Millersville Facebook page for incoming freshmen. We texted nearly every day over the summer, bonding over similar interests and our concerns for starting college. When we finally met in person on move-in day, I already felt like I’d known them forever. We watched movies, ate popcorn, and played “Most Likely to…”, just like friends would. It was so refreshing to belong somewhere.
However, once the first month of school ended, we could see that our personalities just didn’t mesh as well as we’d originally thought. The honeymoon phase was over: group lunches at the Upper Deck became less frequent, movie nights vanished, and, suddenly, my “best friends” didn’t feel like friends at all. At first, this really upset me. I spent a lot of time alone exploring places on campus that I had never seen before because I was stuck in my room (our library is AMAZING!). Once I got into the rhythm of doing my own thing outside of our suite, I realized that this civil parting of ways was for the best, because it helped me rediscover who I am.
My mom told me on the phone one day that by the end of her freshman year of college, she and her roommate never spoke to each other. My dad told me that every single one of my aunts who attended college had issues with their first year roommates. Classmates tell me about their struggles of living with other people after spending so much time alone last year; even without quarantine being a thing, it’s a huge adjustment to live in such close quarters with people you barely know.
In the beginning, I think we were so focused on having someone with us on this new adventure; for me, being three hours away from home was tough, and their support through those times meant, and still means, the world to me. I will never look back on the fun memories we made with regret or bitterness; there’s no reason to. Part of life is discovering who you are through the friends you make, and the important relationships you form. You can see qualities in one person that you admire, but other qualities that don’t make them a good fit for you. Accept that you are two different ice cream flavors that just don’t taste good when they’re mixed together.
Something I taught myself through this experience is that just because I don’t get along with one person, it doesn’t mean I can never get along with anyone. Different people like different flavors of ice cream. Don’t let a petty argument or negative comments turn you into someone you’re not. Find out what interests you instead of what interests your roommates. Do things that you enjoy instead of trying to please everyone else. Be yourself (such a cliche thing to say, I know, but it’s so true.) What annoys one person about you could be your next friend’s favorite trait of yours. And remember, everything happens for a reason.
HCXO,
Cam