When Loving You is Wrong…
With the recent media attention of former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice and his domestic dispute incident with his now wife Janya Palmer, it sheds light to the numerous accounts of domestic violence amongst couples and how time and time again, women tend to go back to their abuser.
When Loving You goes Wrong (can it ever be right?)
The idea of starting a new relationship with someone can sometimes lead to clouded judgment, ignoring signs of trouble and totally giving your all to a “not so healthy” relationship. As young women, we sometimes become fascinated with the Disney “happily ever after” storylines that are admirable by some of our favorite television princesses. But unfortunately, not every girl gets the perfect love story.
Defined by the United States Department of Justice, domestic violence is “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure or wound someone”.
Women aged 16-24 experience the highest per capita rate of intimate partner violence. Statistics show that nearly 21% of college students report having experienced dating violence by a current partner. 32% experienced dating violence by a pervious partner (US Department of Justice, 1997). One reason as to why these incidents go unreported is not for the fear of one’s life, but the fear of losing the “relationship.” If you ask me, abuse is not a form of affection and no woman should allow the emotion of love to get in the way of his or her personal well-being.
Leave, Get OUT!
“An estimated 75% of all college students experienced intimate violence while in college (Jennifer L. Martin, Gendered Violence on Campus: Unpacking Bullying, Harassment, and Stalking,).”
For some college students, knowing the signs of domestic violence is difficult because of the unnoticeable nature of the crime. Many believe that their relationship habits are completely normal and harmless, but the underlining effects of verbal, physical and mental abuse can have long term negative effects.
Knowing the signs of domestic violence and further educating yourself on ways to get out of an unhealthy relationship can easily save your life or a friend’s. By getting involved with on-campus organization that is set in place to educate the university on domestic issues, you can learn the signs of an abuser and get help if needed.
If you or someone that you know is in need of help, visit the sites listed below. It’s never too late to stop the abuse!
http://www.plannedparenthoodchat.org/
http://www.womenagainstabuse.org/index.php/our-services/philadelphia-domestic-violence-hotline