Growing up, I had always been taller and therefore bigger than everyone else my age. I was used to hearing comments such as, “You are only 12?! You look like you’re at least 16!” or, “Wow, your feet are really big! I can’t believe you wear a size 10 shoe!” Although these comments could have negatively impacted some people, they did not faze me. I was not ashamed of how I was. Why should I be? Even in high school I was not impacted by the way my peers looked in relation to me or how I looked compared to the “stick thin” models portrayed in magazines and movies. I knew everyone was different. There are different races, religions, and cultures, therefore, logically, there were different sizes of people.
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It was not until college that I became conscious of my body. There was no one defining moment that I can recall that made me this way, but I noticed myself becoming more in tune with the way certain clothes made me look or the amount of sweets and “unhealthy” foods I was consuming. I chalked it up to my getting older and my sharp decline of physical activity, as I was no longer daily engaging in numerous sports practices and games. However, the more I think about it the more I realize this is not the case. My 18-year-old self should not have had to worry about these things.
I never got to extreme of counting calories or cutting the amount of food I ate, but I know people who did. I have had numerous friends over the years that thought they would be happier, that they would be prettier, that they would be more likeable if only they weighed a few less pounds. To me, it was unbelievable that they held these mindsets about themselves because in my mind, there was nothing wrong with them. They were smart, educated, beautiful people. I asked myself, “Since when is that not enough?”
I recently watched a video of a teenage girl competing in a slam poetry contest. Her story resonated with me because of the honesty it compassed. I think so often people are afraid to talk about their problems and about their personal struggles, and then they only get worse. She mentioned the fact of when she was younger and someone called her fat, and she was never offended until she learned she was supposed to be. I think this is how I was. By no means was I ever fat, but I do not think we are conscious of our bodies until we learn to be. When we are born, our minds are not programed to think that way, it is something that is taught. As stated by the girl in the poetry contest, you should not have to be hungry to feel pretty.
There are so many more things in life that define us. Instead of the media portraying the stereotypical tall, white, blonde, skinny female model, maybe they should choose people who are happy. They should choose people who are confident and strong. These are the individuals who young girls will see and strive to be. I think our world would look so much different if the younger generations would pay less attention to how they look, and more attention to the type of person they are. Are they happy? Are they proud of themselves? Are they kind and respectful?
Over the past few years, I decided I wanted to be kinder to myself and kinder to my body. Some people will never have to make this choice, as they do not struggle with this. However, I think we all know someone who can relate and who has been impacted or felt ashamed of themselves because of the way they look. For me, I chose to be myself and to be confident of who I am because of my future profession. As a soon to be educator, I want my students to see the respect I have, my confidence, and joy. I want them to know that I am happy in my own skin and that they should be, too. I also want my future children to see this in me as well, in hopes of them not falling into the same trap I did. Although this is an ongoing process, keeping an open mind and being honest with yourself is the first step in accepting who you are, and being content with where you presently are in life.
Love yourself no matter what, collegiettes. You deserve the very best, so start by being the very best to yourselves.