Dear Gorgeous,
Hey. I wanted to write this so that you wouldn’t feel so alone. I wanted to write this so you can feel like you should – perfectly beautiful just how you are. I have never gotten to a place where I wanted to talk about being a plus sized woman. It is hard and it is challenging when all around you are signs that you should change. DO NOT LISTEN.
You are perfect as you are. Loving yourself may not always be easy but it is a fight worth partaking in. My hope for you is that you can get off of Instagram, close that magazine, and log off those unhealthy diet websites. I know how you must feel right now. I know how you must feel seeing and hearing all the chatter and still having to look into the mirror and not be that. But I just wanted to write to you that you don’t have to change anything about yourself that you don’t want to.
I’m going to be honest; I am never going to stop eating ribs at BJs Brewhouse, I’m never going to stop loving that skillet cookie at Chilis’, and I am never going to work out 7 days a week for 2 hours with a personal trainer. And neither do you. You never need to sacrifice happiness to fit into an image that isn’t even real.
I am by no means saying don’t eat healthy or never exercise, but some of us are just made to be bigger and we shouldn’t be ashamed by it. Some of us will never be a size 00 or 2 or even a size 12 in some cases – and that’s okay. As long as you feel good physically, mentally, emotionally etc. then I couldn’t care less what you look like. No one should care, everyone is beautifully unique. You are beautifully unique. You are stunning, you are smart, you are strong, and you are worthy.
I feel like you and I are friends, that we are connected in another universe by our experience. Every plus sized girl is different, every plus sized girl has her own story, and not every plus sized girl feels not good enough…but a lot of us do. I hope you don’t feel like that. And if you do please try to rise up and change it girl.
Since we are friends here is my advice, some of the things that have gotten me to come to terms with me and made me realize that I too am beautifully unique.
Golden Rules for Plus Sized Queens:
- Do not starve yourself to be “thinner”, it isn’t healthy or going to get your anywhere
- Find your style and dress to the nines, knowing how to dress your body type will do wonders for confidence!!!!
- Look in the mirror all the time and practice positive self-talk
- Surround yourself with supportive, loving, good people
- Don’t compare yourself (negatively) to anyone on social media, in magazines, on TV and so on
- Do not allow a romantic partner and or friend to abuse/belittle you because of your size, you have so much more worth than that type of treatment
No matter what path life takes you down you always have yourself. We all have to learn to love, accept, embrace, and cherish ourselves. You do not need to change or to feel less than. You just need to focus on yourself, your happiness, and your self-betterment in a positive way. The size of our bodies does not define us, your size or my size or her size isn’t who we are. That is key to remember. It is just a part of us it isn’t our whole being. I urge you to take time to find your happiness if you haven’t. My hope is that us plus sized will be able to just act and feel as if we are normal because in reality, we all are. Beautiful does not have a size or a weight limit.
These things are hard to allow yourself to latch onto to and not go back into feeling inadequate, but we have to make the effort.
Always remember you are perfect the way you are. From your hair, to your skin color, to your style, to your personality, to your shoes, to your bra size, and yes – to your body. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And please do not let superficial standards of society lead to dark paths. My worst fear is for any plus sized queen to believe you aren’t worth it or enough. That can lead to extremely negative mental health, eating disorders, physical harm, and makes us think we don’t deserve genuine love. We deserve the world. Your size does not dictate the love we are meant to deserve, whether that be from a partner, a friend, or ourselves.
Keep your head up, look in the mirror, and smile because you are stunning mamma. Please don’t forget it. Please don’t let anyone or anything steer you to believe otherwise. And please do not hesitate to reach out for help if you are overwhelmed and in a bad place. Feeling different, feeling “fat”, feeling unworthy, feeling ugly, feeling ashamed, feeling broken are overwhelming things. Always feel empowered to ask for help and to ask to not be alone in the fight.
You got this.
With so much love and through tears,
Maddie <3
*If you’re experiencing any of the following please call these numbers for help, you’re worth it*
Eating Disorder Helpline: 1-800-931-2237
Substance Abuse Helpline: 1-800-662-4357
Suicide Helpline: 800-273-8255
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-799-7233
Until next time,
HCXO, Maddie Rose <3