Internalized Racism in Dating

We all agree racism is bad (I hope), so how come society has made a certain form of racism acceptable? What is this form of racism I’m talking about? I’m talking about internalized racism in dating. How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t date black girls” or “She’s cute, but I don’t really date Asian girls?” Most people  say ok and move on, why? Because society has blurred the line between preference and racism. When someone says they wouldn't date an entire race, they are, one, missing out on someone who could be perfect for them, because of skin color, and two, basically saying that there is something about that entire race they find undateable. This stems from most people having internalized racism that they are unaware of. That doesn't make it okay, but it gives a reason. Most of the people that say they don’t date a certain race is because of what they see. Their parents are most likely the same race, their grandparents, their siblings, they all are most likely in a relationship with the same race. Since that is all they see that is all they know. The reason why this has become “acceptable” is because people think it’s nothing more than a preference. A preference is saying you prefer girls who are athletic because you like to go the gym, or that you’d rather date someone with a nice smile because you're really attracted to that. What is not a preference is saying you prefer white girls. Think about it, the above examples all had a reason behind the preference. Ask someone why they only date one race, they tend to shrug or say “ I don't know I just don't,” or ignore the question completely. That is because they either really don't understand why, or they realize that there really isn't a reason, other than that maybe they just might have some lingering internalized racism. The goal of this article is to educate the people that have blurred the line of racism and preference, and to spread awareness to the thousands of people that have had their hearts break when that boy they like says the dreaded, “I don’t date black girls.”

HXCO,

Alanna