DISCLAIMER: This article talks about sexual abuse and other forms of abuse which can be triggering for some survirors.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month along with Breast Cancer Awareness. I think it is really important to raise awareness against domestic violence to young men and women in today’s society. Women no longer are expected to take mental, emotional, and physical abuse from their husbands and boyfriends. Although still stigmatized, men are being encouraged to speak out against abusive women. As I have grown up more this past year, I became aware and recognized signs of emotional abuse, gaslighting, toxic friendships and relationships. It has not only helped me with the relationships in my life, but also to become more aware of my own habits.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month started in 1981 as a day of unit for women advocates worldwide. It affects men and women of all ages, races, sexual orientations, religions. It is not only hitting and punches. Abuse comes in different forms such as mental and emotional abuse. These are often much harder to recognize and understand. Nearly 3 out of 4 Americans know someone who has been a victim of domestic abuse. While the rate has dropped by nearly 2/3rds since 1994, it has not been completely eradicated and is still relevant today.
There are many different types of domestic abuse. The most common are physical, sexual, financial, digital, and emotional. More often than not, there will be overlaps or greater depth to abuse. According to break the cycle, one of the more common types of abuse is dating abuse/violence. Warning signs include, checking cell phones without permission, belittling or put downs, mood stings, jealousy, false accusations, possessiveness, and isolation. Dating abuse is a newer term but no less important. Financial abuse can be considered to be used to exert power and control, similar to other forms but through the means of controlling finances by either preventing, hiding or taking money away. Emotional and verbal abuse is non-physical but just as damaging. This can be through fights, isolation, monitoring, gaslighting and more. Physical abuse is an intentional use of force to cause fear or harm, while sexual abuse is unwanted activity that is synonymous with assault but can also include tampering with contraceptives. Abusers often use it as a way of controling or intimdating people.
Domestic violence and abuse are not to be taken lightly. It is hard to take care of yourself after being in an abusive relationship. Survivors often do not see the red flags that others see. About 33% of teenagers who were in an abusive relationship ever opened up to someone and told them they were in an abusive relationship. Emotional abusers will often try to belittle you and make you feel as if you are at fault or that your feelings arent valid. People often feel as if they are crazy or insane or they may feel alone and isolated. It will be hard to trust someone again after a abusive or unhelathy. Regardless of the typ of abuse or violence a man or woman has experienced, their experience is still valid and should be recognized as that.
For more information, please visit https://www.breakthecycle.org/ or https://www.thehotline.org/ which provides a national Domestic Abuse hotline.
HCXO, Cecilia
