1. You learned how to pretend to love football.
If you didn’t go to Friday night football games, you didn’t have a Friday night. So there you were, cheering for what’s-his-name to get the whatever-its-called to the end of the zone? Right? We don’t know, we were just there for the fries.
2. You never understood what was so great about hanging out in corn fields.
You don’t get what’s so wonderful about risking your liver-health and getting arrested, surrounded by crops, dirt, and flies. You would have much rather been eating Cheetos on your couch with your best friend watching horror movies. Safe and warm.
3. Fairs and carnivals are so overrated to you.
Sure the food was good, but you don’t care to see the same 600 pound pig for the tenth year in a row. Or the biggest pumpkin in the county… or the tomato. It’s not worth the $5 after your 12-years-old. You are literally only there for the food.
4. The best days were when there was a new store opening nearby.
Even though it was always a Target or a new grocery outlet, it was pretty exciting that something was actually changing.
5. You spent all your free time making lists of places you’d rather be.
Anywhere but here was your mantra.
6. The only time your town was worth living in was during summer vacation…
Warm weather and pool days made it all worth it.
7. … But by August you were ready to go back just to have something to do.
By this time you realize there is absolutely nothing to do in this town so you might as well be in school trying to better yourself so you can leave.
8. Even though you pretend to hate it, it will always have your heart.
Only you are allowed to make fun of it. You can complain all you want, but you know without your little town, you would not be the person you are today.