3 Ways to Prevent a Failed Relationship

The other day I was asked to identify the reason that my previous relationship ended. One reason? Absurd.
 
As someone who has had their fill of the arguments and frustration that accompany failed relationships, I do spend a lot of time reflecting on the “rights” and “wrongs” of each one, and I have attempted to pinpoint the reasons they crumbled. Trust me, there are many! So I have narrowed them down to three main things. Here goes…
 

You are the girlfriend, NOT the mom. Men, am I right? I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this throughout all of my relationships. I will never know why I did not understand this until now, but it is better late than never! Ladies, your guy most likely needs you to be supportive and understanding, not nagging and pushy. Have you ever found yourself irritated when he doesn’t remember his schedule? Remind him in a loving way, don’t nag until he’s so annoyed he wants to drive his car into oncoming traffic! Oh and men, just because this isn’t specifically about you doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. Though we females are irrefutably confusing, we cannot read your minds either. Help us out a little and let us know how we can better handle situations in the girlfriend way.
 
Stop approaching relationships looking for what they can do for YOU. This goes for any relationship, romantic or platonic. You know that JFK saying, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country?” It’s the same idea. We live in a world that encourages us to always be looking out for ourselves, to be somewhat selfish as a means of protection. I encourage you to stop this behavior in your relationships, but keep in mind it only works if both parties involved are willing to consider the other before themselves. Instead of asking, “How are you meeting my needs?” try asking, “How can I meet your needs?” No, it will not make everything perfect, but I can promise it will make things better.
 
Love is not a perpetual, mushy feeling… it is a choice. I know that some will not agree with this and I do not intend to imply that everything I am saying here is full of absolute truth, but think of it this way: Does any couple go through every second of every day without having moments when they want to yell? Without experiencing that feeling of being completely frustrated? Without moments where they just want to quit and crawl into bed? It’s highly unlikely. But when you find someone who brings out the best in you, who challenges you, who is there in the difficult moments, who is willing to compromise, who still loves you even on your worst hair day… You make a decision to love that person, come what may. Romance doesn’t have to die, that is not at all what I am saying. But love, I believe, is very much is a choice – to wake up each morning and love that bed-headed sleepy mess of a person lying next to you.