You’re walking down slant walk and there he is–his hair still looks perfect in the fall breeze and his laugh makes you smile. He’s your ex from last semester. Maybe he’s your ex-boyfriend or an ex-hook up, whatever the case, seeing him for the first time since ending things is like (warning: Mean Girls reference) seeing a dog walk on it’s hind legs–awkward.
One thing your SOUL should have mentioned at orientation is that Miami seems to get smaller as you get older so you’re bound to see him again. And again. If summer wasn’t enough time to get over him, things could get ugly. Lucky for you Her Campus is here to help with the struggle of getting over your past relationship and getting back on track to having the most ah-mazing year ever.
Here are HC’s 9 tips for getting over your ex:
1. Unfriend/Block him on all social media outlets.This may seem extreme, but you’ll be thankful once you did it. Do you really want to see pictures of him at that date party with someone else coming up on your newsfeed? The only reason you do is so you can make sure you’re prettier than his date. Keep this in mind: your friends will say you are every time and so will you because you are, duh. You don’t need a picture to show you that.
2. Avoid drunk texting and snapchatting him. Nothing says you’re desperate like a 2 a.m. text saying “I miss you” or even a “Hey, what’s up?” What’s up? Not your dignity. Pull yourself together and think before you press send. If you wake up and you still can’t resist texting, throw your phone into the queso dip at La Piñata. Then lick it off (because it’s delicious) and realize that you love cheese dip, not him. In all seriousness though, just think before you send a text. What is sending this text going to do and are the reasons rational?
3. If you have to see him, keep it casual.Your ex might be in your circle of friends and that means you’re going to see him every weekend. You have two options here: make a move or let it go. It ended for a reason and laying those issues out on the bar may not only be a bad decision, but it could start all the drama over again. Before bringing up old feelings ask yourself what you’re looking to get out of it. If you want to re-ignite the flame and he doesn’t, it might be best to back off. Remember you’ll have to see him again next weekend. If you decide to let it go, or are not sure if you can, fake it ‘til you make it. You’ll get there and eventually the tension will fade, leaving a beautiful friendship filled with drinking games and discussions over action movies.
4. Stop thinking “if only…”If only you would have turned into a mermaid and cleaned his apartment for him, maybe he would have stayed. Maybe, but wait what? Girl, that’s crazy. Don’t think about what you could have done to make the relationship last, instead think about what you learned from it. Did you learn that you hated his friends but could have been more tolerant? Keep that in mind for the next guy. Did you learn that he only texted you back when it benefited him or when you said you had free tickets to see Wiz Khalifa? Yes? If only you would have realized that and gotten out sooner.
5. Go out with your girls.Yeah it’s cliché, but admit you have fun going hiking at Hueston Woods while listening to only “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift, and you love dancing on top of the benches that line the Pachinko’s dance floor. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Actually, being single is really fun. Hello freedom! Hi there new boys! Hello Skipper’s waffle fries and mac-n-cheese bites stuffed in your purse after a night out because you couldn’t choose just one.
6. Rebound.You know you’re going to. Go for a new guy because you want to though, not to make your ex jealous. If you try to make him jealous with a new guy or in any other creative way you have shoved up your sleeve, don’t do it. Schemes will blow up in your face. And if you go for a new guy before you’re ready, predict there will be tears and ice cream later. Be smart. That is all.
7. Cry it out with friends, then drop it like it’s hot.Sometimes a good cry or talking it over with friends is all a girl really needs. Once you let it out though, it’s time to move on. Will this relationship or hook-up still be relevant in five or 10 years? Will you look back and wish you were still with him? Maybe he was a great love in your life, but he’s not going to be your last.
P.S. No matter how great your friends are they do not want to discuss your ex each time you see him. They won’t tell you that of course, but we will.
8. Remember the good times, but don’t forget the not so good.Does your first date replay over and over in your head? We’ll bet it was magical. Really, we’re sure it was great otherwise you wouldn’t have stayed together. But how about that time he was rude to your sister or that time he was making fun of your dream job because it seemed stupid to him? I bet those memories aren’t still replaying. His flaws might not have been so pertinent, but there was probably at least one thing he did that you couldn’t stand. And now you don’t have to put up with it anymore. Moving on…next!
9. Workout.Working out can clear your head and give you something to strive for. If you want to run a half marathon this year, go for it. If you need to let off some steam by rowing a couple of miles, time to shine, lady! The best part is no matter what you do to work out you’re #winning. It’s nice to win, isn’t it?
Breaking up was hard and moving on can be harder. You can learn a lot about the kind of person you are by the way you acted in a relationship and by the way you dealt with the end of it. Take a look at the situation and then leave it in the past. This is college, and though four years may seem like a long time, it’s not. Don’t waste your time on old relationships.