Every girl dreams of her ideal college experience. Common expectations include: older and mature boys, Project-X-like parties, and an amazing wardrobe because girls in the same dorm can easily swap out, switch, and borrow each other’s fabulous clothes. It’s so easy to get caught up in creating the coveted, sought after college experience without thinking about whether it’s the college experience you want.
Conformity is an all-too-easy and safe trap to fall into in college. Say most of your girlfriends in your corridor are taking solely honors courses, earning crazy high credits per semester, so you should too right? And everyone seems to go out on the weekdays therefore you scramble to finish your homework, throw on some makeup, hit Uptown, and end up sleeping through your major Art History exam (I know, FOMO sucks). You really want to see what the hype is about broomball, but your new friends aren’t into it, so you drop the idea. I’m not saying that any of these things are necessarily bad, but your college self should make decisions based on what you want to do and what’s right for you.
College is the time to be selfish, to figure out who you are and what you’re passionate about. You’re never going to be able to achieve that if you consistently let yourself become bogged down by other people’s opinions. At the end of the day, you want to walk down onto the stage in your graduation cap and gown proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished during your undergraduate years. Your friends are obviously a necessary support system and you should create as many great memories as you can with them. It’s just important not to forget why you came to college; your specific college in particular.
So take a step back. Write down everything that you’ve always wanted to do and everything that you’re passionate about exploring. Don’t be afraid to take Portuguese class or to join your school’s rowing team. Now is the time to discover your passions and develop your dreams. The people you meet along the way are just a wonderful added bonus. And if your friends don’t support you or think it’s weird that you want to break from the status quo and try new things, they were never really good friends to begin with. You will find people that admire your tenacity and appreciate your aspirations. While it might be easier to just float along in college, not joining any clubs, and declaring yourself [insert major here] because it seems like the easiest option or the route that will help you make the most money, it won’t be worth it in the end because you’ll just be another number in your graduating class, unsure of how to go about the future.
Assert yourself. Go after your dreams and desires. Raise your hand in class even though you’re nervous you’re coming across as that obnoxious girl that answers one too many questions. Most importantly, dream big, and hold on to that dream. People may tell you that you’re crazy or being unrealistic, but who are they to shut down your dream? How can they possibly predict what will happen in the future?
Please, take each and every opportunity that college offers you! However, don’t be afraid to say NO to the things that make you uncomfortable. In college, absolutely no one can force you to do anything. People will be drawn to you, because you know what you want and you’re going after it. That’s pretty admirable. You’re going to be loved by others and you’re going to love yourself because of the accomplished, independent individual that you’ve become over your four years (or five, or six). And it doesn’t get much better than that. Take time to smell the budding roses and discover your authentic self. You owe yourself at least that much after all.