This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Miami (OH) chapter.
Being in a relationship definitely has its perks. Paid dinners, occasional flowers, daily back-rubs and always having a companion to hang out with. Those are just a few of my favorite things of having a sig.-other. But sometimes (and no offense to the boyfriend) having your girlfriends seems even better. You have someone to complain with about getting your eyebrows waxed too frequently, you get to gush about the latest “Bachelor” episode, and if you want to include Ben and Jerry during said vent session – even better!
However, many women today feel that once they get a boyfriend, they have to choose between their love interest and their girlfriends because they don’t have enough time for both. You know that saying, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Well throw out that saying right now, because you can have both your boyfriend and your besties!
Here is your HC guide to maintaining a healthy, and equal balance between your lover and your best pals:
1. Always make sure you have time for yourself.
So many girls get wrapped up in constantly being surrounded by their boyfriend. The honeymoon stage really does wear off, sadly. I know a lot of people that have actually lost friends after they’ve recently started dating someone. Don’t be that girl! When you worry about your needs, you will start to realize that you want to hang out with those you care about. Once you are satisfied, then you can make plans with the girls on Friday and go to dinner, and Saturday you and your man can have a Netflix marathon. See how that works?
2. Never, never, never cancel.
If you have plans, you have plans! Those that care about you should know that you are a normal human being. You’re going to be busy! If you need to, keep a planner (I always keep my trusty Lilly planner on hand) that way you’ll always know what you’re doing every day of the week. When you don’t cancel, you don’t upset anyone. If you know you’ve got a family dinner with the boyfriend’s family on Sunday – what are you doing Monday night for dinner? Eating with the girls, obvs!
3. Stress the importance of your friends to your boyfriend, and the importance of your boyfriend to your friends.
When there is an equal respect between both parties, no one’s feelings should ever be hurt. There will be nights where you just want to cuddle all night long with your man, and there will be nights where all you want to do is go dancing with the girls. That’s fine! As long as you keep up a balance, you can always choose want you want to do.
4. Your boyfriend and friends need to respect each other, but more importantly, both groups need to respect you too.
Your boyfriend shouldn’t make you feel bad about going out with your girls, and your girls should be supportive when the only person you want to see is your guy! This mutual respect between your boyfriend and girlfriends will ultimately result in a greater respect for you. If both parties care for you like you believe they do, they will put aside their differences to make you happy.
5. Take it from someone who knows.
I have been in a serious relationship for two years now. There are most definitely hardships, so don’t get me wrong. The thing that makes me the happiest is knowing that my friends and I always have fun. My boyfriend encourages me to go do things with my friends if he knows that I am bored and he can’t hang out with me. When I am down, my friends support my decision to get dinner alone with my boyfriend. The best part is that, as a group, we are all really good friends, too. This makes everything so much less complicated. My friends frequently compliment on my independence because they know many people who haven’t found that balance between love and friends. No bragging here at all, but it feels good to know that I can please everyone I love in some way, and by following this advice, you can too!