As the snow continues to fall and the library looks more like a scene from the Walking Dead, any college student will know that means finals are happening and winter break is upon us. The end of the semester to me always represented a long, well-earned vacation from all nighters and caffeine doses enough to bring down Bigfoot.
But as we reach this break, I began to wonder, what am I going to do for six weeks? Sure, winter can be magical with its spiked nog and time to relax by a fire, but once the novelty of the holiday season dies down, we are left with nothing but Jack Frost and a really empty calendar (there are only so many family game nights one can take). This year many of you might find yourselves at home with nothing to do, and with that, the winter blues will set in.
But never fear, because there is a solution. When you feel yourself slipping into a cold coma of FOMO, take yourself though this 12-step process that will help you realize the benefits of being home for such a long break.
12 Drunkards Drinking
Winter break was invented for one thing only: liver cleansing. When you are home alone on a Friday night watching Wheel of Fortune with your passed out parents, don’t think about the parties you are missing, think about the calories you are saving! And while winter break may not be a sober venture by any means, look on the bright side, when they serve beer it will not be Natty, and when they make Bloody Mary’s they wont be made with vladdy.
11 Patterson Pancakes
The one thing Miami always does right is brunch. 1809, Harrison, Stella, Morning Sun, and everyone’s favorite, Patterson’s. While sadly these fine establishments cannot be teleported to your front lawn, there is a silver lining: MOMS COOKING! The best part of being home is that your mom knows how to crisp your bacon perfectly, will always make fun shaped pancakes, and, oh yeah, did I mention it’s free?
10 Teens-a-Twerking
Miley. Miley makes everything better.
9 Ladies Dancing
For those in Greek life, nothing beats spring semester. A full calendar of socials and sisterhoods are planned to keep the babies having fun and help sisters form bonds in the best way, by dancing like idiots with that sister you didn’t really know till then but are now best friends. This year, we have all winter to prepare our awesome dance moves alone in our rooms, and new recruits, you have plenty of time to brush up on your skills for POTH. So when you are bored, don’t be sad, plug in that circa 2004 DDR and dance like no ones watching.
8 Nights-a-Netflixing
Netflix was made for winter break. At school, spending all day Sunday in bed re-watching all eight seasons of Desperate Housewives is considered poor use of study time, but at home, its considered a feat to be applauded. Instead of feeling sad about being alone, grab your computer and the Smart Food out of the pantry and enjoy catching up with your favorite shows.
7 Spring breakers-a-swimming
Having the extra three weeks in January has another purpose. While Miami claims to have created J-term for extra learning time and study abroad opportunities, they really did it in service to the spring break diet. The holidays are time for being with family and seeing how many Santa cookies you can down in a minute. New Years hits and then it’s the official spring break diet time. Instead of being back at school and going out every night, we are given a full extra month to work off that holiday-5, which really is the best gift of all.
6 Geese down pillows-a-laying on
Let’s be honest, not many college students can say that they like their beds better then their home beds. For any underclassmen, you are all on dorm beds, and anyone old enough to have a house probably went to Ikea because having nice furniture in college is a waste of investment. Being home is always made better with a comfy bed and cozy sheets. When you begin to miss your living quarters at school, think about how awesome your room at home is. It’s clean, it’s snuggly, and it doesn’t smell like three-week-old beer.
5 Golden (and blue, and red, and green, and black) Rings
That’s right my friends, the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, is coming to a television near you! While the Olympics don’t officially begin until the February 7, the hype around the events and school works are too much to bear together. Use this break to make that Olympic event calendar you have always wanted to make so you never miss another curling event again. And if Friends With Benefits taught you anything, you don’t want to piss off Sean White.
4 Angry Calling Birds
Whether you dabbled in 90’s or became pro in the 2000’s, video games are the best way to pass time. While at school, we often have to play on our phones during lecture or into the wee hours of the night. For you game junkies, winter break is your prefect world. You have no work, no classes, nothing stopping you from spending that $30 to beat one level of Candy Crush or spend 24 consecutive hours playing Star Wars Angry Birds. Whenever you find yourself down and missing school, just remember, you have all day to play.
3 French Bulldogs
Whatever kind of animal you have: dog, cat, ferret, being home means endless cuddle time with your old pal. While you may not be dressing your dog in reindeer garb with evil plots to steal Christmas, you still have millions of ways to play with the little fur ball. When the winter blues get you down, grab your pal and some beggin’ strips and go wild.
2 Turtle Necks Returned
Every holiday season it is inevitable that you will receive at least one horrible gift. Whether it be a turtleneck or a full body bunny suit, that puppy will be exchanged for store credit within the hour. So what does one do with store credit and time to kill? Shop! Instead of watching reruns of Boy Meets World all afternoon, take that well earned cash and treat yourself to some new duds. Nothing is a better feeling then going back to school with a whole new wardrobe.
And a partridge in a pear tree
No one really knows what a partridge is or why it’s in a pear tree, but who cares? The holiday season may be filled with gift giving and holiday parties, but in the end, nothing is better than spending time with your family. So when you get the winter blues, don’t think about the cold or not being with all your friends at school, think about the things you love about home.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals, and a Happy New Year.