Over winter break, I was constantly asked by friends and family members, “What are your post-grad plans?” or some variation of that dreaded question. My typical reply was some vague statement like “I’m not really sure”, trying to avoid a real answer and sometimes followed by a joke to cover how much I couldn’t stand the question. Or even worse, sometimes I’ll try to overcompensate and explain all the great things I’ve done in college and the job on campus that I love so much, which usually leaves people saying something like “That’s great, I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon” which makes me feel worse; like I don’t have it figured out and need to rapidly start throwing myself at every opportunity possible. What I want to say is: “Can people stop asking me.” Not only am I putting pressure on myself to figure it out, but it seems that’s all people care to ask me for the past couple of months. I was talking to my mom and her friends about my feelings about this great moment being rushed by others, and they compared it to when you get married all anyone cares to ask is “So when are you having kids?”
I don’t have that clear answer that people are looking for, which is either going to grad school or already having a job lined up. Most people, until their senior year of college, have had their lives essentially planned out for them, so asking seniors “what’s next” is bound to be stressful for numerous reasons whether it’s personal, academic, or professional unease. At least personally, there wasn’t a doubt about whether I would continue my education and go to college after high school, so I didn’t have to process any of those feelings. So when I graduated high school, I just went to college and I’d have four more years to figure it out, but those four years are almost over. I can’t help but feel frustrated, behind, and almost lost.Â
For the first time, the next move and choice are completely mine alone to make. I get to decide what is next, and the feelings of nervousness and excitement are clashing inside my head. Now all the decisions –both good and bad– are on me. There was something so safe about having a predetermined path to follow right up until college graduation, but now as that approaches, I’m losing that comfort.Â
People asking me what’s next not only brings stressful thoughts to the forefront of my mind, but it also feels like the accomplishment of finishing school is being overlooked. I have spent so much time working up to this moment, and all anyone seems to care about is what’s next for me. I want to pause and celebrate this moment because I’ve been working toward it my entire life so far. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled about the future and starting my career, it just feels like all the emphasis is on my next move and I don’t even get to acknowledge graduating. Being able to completely financially support myself and live on my own with a job I love is so exciting, but that’s not the case for me right now, and I’m trying not to pass by all the amazing things happening in the present just to hopefully be happy and successful in the future. I don’t blame people in my life for asking about my plans but it’s sometimes all they have said about college.Â
College completely shaped who I am today and it feels like people want to just pass by all that so we can move on with our lives. As seniors, we should be proud of finishing our undergraduate journeys because it has prepared us for our future careers, but right now it feels like that’s all it was: a stepping stone to get a job. It wasn’t just that. It was learning how to speak my mind, making lifelong friendships, growing a deeper understanding of myself, and so much more than just getting prepared for our future professions. So forgive me if I don’t want to overlook all that just to be wrapped up in the future.Â
I surveyed some of my peers to see if we are all having similar feelings despite everyone having vastly different post-grad plans. When asked about their emotions about graduating the feeling everyone shared was being proud of themselves. My peers also all said that the most dramatic change in the past four years was overall personal growth. Clearly, fellow seniors are feeling like college was more than just a stepping stone, a piece of paper, or even an education. If we all have those feelings, then why are others so stuck on asking us what we are doing instead of congratulating us on what’s happening now? We still have one semester left but it seems like people only want to compliment college seniors on a tangible thing like a job or graduate school, not on what is probably the biggest accomplishment in a 22-year-old’s life.Â
If you are a graduating senior, I encourage you to take a moment to slow down and just be proud of all you have accomplished so far, because when we look back on this time it will be about all the achievements, not about the mixed emotions and stress. Whether you have post-graduation plans yet or not, this massive success should be recognized, and don’t let others make you feel behind. Especially because now, more than ever, we are all on individual paths to success with new beginnings and are in control of our futures!