In high school, you become friends with people that are in the same clubs, sports, and classes as you. Usually, you will have a friend group that has a lot in common with you and from then on, you will be inseparable. Until graduation at least. You promise that you will stay in touch as you all go your separate ways, but is that realistic? As you all go to different colleges, likely hundreds of miles apart, and find new friends, will you still be able to maintain your high school relationships?
Fortunately, the answer is yes. You can continue to be friends with your classmates from high school and find a new group of friends in college. It isn’t easy, but it is often worth it. If you are making the transition to college, here are some tips on maintaining healthy relationships with your old friends.
Communicate Regularly
These days, it is really easy to talk to anyone, anywhere. The difficult time is finding a time in both of your schedules to talk. Set aside a time when you are both free, and agree to Skype or call during that time every week, or every other week. If you can’t make time to talk, try writing letters. This will take longer, but the extra effort will pay off. Another way to keep in touch is over social media. Posting pictures and statuses makes it easier for your friends to keep up with your interests and college experience. Even liking each other’s posts will have a positive affect on the friendship. A small gesture can go a long way.
Visit Each Other!
If possible, visit each other at school. You can meet each other’s friends and see where they live. It will help you to keep things that you both have in common. The money and time that you invest in visiting your friend will make a positive difference in your relationship.
Thanksgiving and Christmas break are perfect times to visit your friends at home. Spend time with your family, but set a few days apart for your high school friends. During this time, you will have the rare chance to hang out with your friends just like you would in high school. If you keep up with your friends during the school year, it will be like you were never separated during the breaks.
Plan Times to See Each Other
If you are planning on going to your hometown for the homecoming game or another special occasion, invite your friends! They will often make time to go home and support your high-school team or go just to see you.
Make Sure the Relationship is Worth Keeping
Keeping a high-school friend in college is hard work. First, you need to make sure you are both on the same page. If they aren’t going to put in the same amount of effort, you will be the one picking up the slack. If it is worth it to you, that’s fine, but if not it will leave you feeling exhausted and frustrated. Talk to your friends and agree that you will all genuinely try to stay in touch. You also need to make sure these friends are positive influences in your life. Keep the friends that will encourage you to do your best, stay true to yourself, and pursue your dreams. The transition from high school to college is a great time to rid yourself of any friends that are fake or try to drag you down.
If the friendship just doesn’t work out, don’t feel discouraged. Even great friendships can end in college. People grow and change after high school. Their interests, values, priorities, and personalities won’t be the same. As friends go their seperate ways, they sometimes grow apart. There is nothing wrong with letting these old friends go and finding new friends. In college, you will find people to be friends with that you may have even more in common with than your high school friends. Don’t be upset if you can’t keep your old friends. It is a part of growing and changing.
The friends you make in high school could be lifelong friends, or you could drift apart. It depends on the time and energy you put into the friendship.