Robin Thicke, Pharrell, and T.I. gave us one of the hottest songs of 2013 with Blurred Lines. Even though it is now 2015, this song has inspired me. Weird, right? The concept of this particular song and its whole good girl vs. bad girl situation made me think of some situations where the lines are blurred, and we don’t even realize it. Not realizing it is often how we find ourselves on the wrong side of those lines. Here are a few instances that we definitely need to be aware of:
1. Lurking vs. stalking: Now, I’m not even going to lie. I’ve done it. We’ve all done it. Lurking. While in the actual act, it seems like we’re just harmlessly checking up on someone via social media, whether it’s your significant other or a potential one. This is totally fine BUT this can easily get out of hand. If you are lurking on someone’s social media more than once a day or you often find yourself 10 different profiles away from the person whose page you originally started on, STOP! You are no longer harmlessly lurking; you are stalking. This is not cool. Honestly, if you feel the need to check up on that person that frequently then you might need to rethink the relationship. Stalking will never be okay in any way, shape, or form.
2. Being a caring gf vs. being a crazy gf: This is very similar to the lurking and stalking situation. It is definitely a very good thing to be a caring gf and want to know what’s going on with your significant other. However, wanting to know what your significant other is doing every second of every day and where they are is a little crazy. Maybe even more than a little. You really don’t want to be known as the crazy gf. This goes into the whole trust issue. There is no way you can be in a relationship with someone and not have trust. You can check in with them every once in a while just to make sure they’re still alive, but don’t forget to give them their space. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can no longer have your own life.
3. Being sexy vs. being too sexy when going out: We’re all in college which brings new freedoms for everyone. One of those is that your parents are no longer around to tell you something’s too tight, too short, or too revealing and that you need to go change clothes. That’s great, right? Yes and no. It’s definitely okay to want to be a little sexy when going out to a party or club. However, if your clothing literally looks like strings of fabric then you might need to rethink your outfit choice. Leave a little bit to the imagination.
4. Being confident vs. being conceited: Confidence is key. If you have confidence in yourself, you can almost get anything you want (along with putting in the work for it of course). Then there is confidence’s sibling—conceit. There is nothing attractive about a conceited individual. I think it’s amazing for someone to have confidence in themselves and love themselves, but if you’re being compared to Kanye West then you are definitely conceited and need to do some adjusting.
5. The “talking” stage vs. actually dating someone: Oh the joys of undefined relationship statuses. The talking stage is basically the getting to know you stage. It’s past the point of “I like you” but not at the point of where you actually want to date the person. This is tricky because although you may feel like the talking stage is basically dating, the other person might not think so (or vice versa). The best thing to do in this situation is to have a conversation with the potential other person and set some ground rules. One of those rules should definitely include whether or not it’s okay to “talk” to other people. You don’t want to be the one being faithful in the talking stage when the other person is talking to everyone. That’s definitely not okay.
6. Dieting vs. just not eating: There are so many diets going around now that it’s really hard to keep track of them all. One thing I am certain of, however, is that just not eating is not any type of diet. That’s called starving yourself, and it’s not okay at all. Dieting is maybe cutting back on sweets, not eating fried foods, or limiting portions and/or snacking. It’s a combination of eating and exercising. Dieting should be a way for you to make sure that you are in good health. With that being said, your body needs food to be healthy. See how not eating doesn’t fit into that equation? Not eating can lead to so many health issues and even serious things like eating disorders. I know that everyone is currently trying to get that perfect spring break body, but don’t sacrifice your health to fit someone else’s crazy standards. Loving yourself is the first step.
Of course these are not the only situations where the lines can easily be blurred. Just make sure to look at any situation from all sides so you end on the right side of the line, because if not you could end up being “that girl” without even noticing.