Embedded in our chaotic lives are the magic of childhood friendships that create lasting memories, shape our identities, and walk into adulthood with us.
Four years ago, my friends and I graduated from high school knowing that in a year’s time, we would be living different lives in different countries. Although we were excited for our individual journeys ahead, it was bittersweet not knowing when we would meet next.
After moving away, life got in the way and keeping in touch seemed far more complicated than we expected. Luckily enough, we managed to stay updated with each other’s lives through occasional calls and texts. While I am grateful that my childhood friends are still in my life, speaking to them online was never going to be the same as spending time together in person.
I first noticed this over the winter break when I flew back home after two and a half years. One of the first things I did was meet up with my friends. Seeing each other after so long was a surreal experience that felt so familiar yet so unnatural. Perhaps because I had only talked to them through a phone for the last few years, I forgot what it felt like to be with them in person. Navigating these friendships had become increasingly difficult because I knew I was a completely different person to who I was the last time I saw them, and I knew they had changed too. Of course, after a while, the awkwardness passed and things were back to normal, but here’s what I learned from my experience:
1. Your childhood friends mold you into the person you are today
I vividly remember during a conversation with a friend, we said to each other, “we grew up together, obviously we’re the same person now.” This got me reflecting about how our childhood friendships mold us into the people we are today. Growing up, we shared so many of the same memories and experiences that taught us essential life lessons. Over the years, these friendships have meant lending a hand to each other through the obstacles we face, helping each other figure out who we want to be, and teaching each other empathy. We built a foundation of values and morals that we carry with us today, and we often don’t realize it until we grow older. This was the magic of childhood friendships.
2. No matter how long it’s been, when you finally get the chance to spend time with them, they will always feel like a blanket of warmth and security
While at first, seeing my friends after so long created an awkward wedge between us, it was quickly filled with the reminiscence of childhood memories and laughter. For a moment, it was as if we were back in our youth, before the responsibilities and stress of adulthood kicked in. The childlike nature and naivety came back to me. I felt grounded and reminded of a part of me that I forgot existed, the part of me that saw the simplicities of this world. Most of all, it made me feel grateful to have such an indescribable connection with people who share the same experiences and life stories as me. After so long, although we have changed as people and our mindsets have grown, our bond remains the same, and it felt like that time had never passed. It felt like a blanket of warmth and security wrapped around me.
3. As we grow older, we change, and our friendships might change. That’s okay!
When my friends and I departed on our individual journeys after high school, we knew that we would each change in our own way. Being in our twenties also meant that we would be in a constant cycle of change, uncertainty, and self-discovery. We were growing independently and finding our own paths. Considering this, friendships were bound to change, whether it was becoming distant, talking less, or just putting in different levels of effort compared to before. What I found with my friendships was that we did not talk as often as we used to in high school, as day-to-day conversations became scarce and involvement in each other’s lives seemed infrequent. However, I like to believe that having spent many years together, we’ve been through so much that our bond is virtually unbreakable. Regardless of whether we don’t talk as much or don’t have as much time for each other anymore, we’ll always know that we can count on each other. They will forever symbolize a valuable part of my life.
As we grow older, we’re going to hone new friendships and create new memories, which are unique in their own way. However, it’s incredibly important to remember the value of the friendships we made in our childhood, even if we do wind up in different countries. Some friendships will break off because you get distant and that is okay! The friendships that are meant to stay, will stay forever, and that is truly beautiful.