I have only ever known what it means to be a sister to boys.
I have never experienced sisterhood, or the different dynamics that come with it. Being a sister is far different from what I have known for most of my life. Anyone with a brother knows that a brother-sister dynamic, especially as the younger sister, includes a childhood full of living-room wrestling matches and scraped knees from neighbourhood biking competitions. It is being teased but never being the one to get in trouble, and fighting over who gets the bigger or last piece. It is calling each other names as children and becoming best friends when older. At least for me, this was the experience of being a younger sister to brothers. I adore having older brothers because I know I’ll always be protected, always have a ride when I need one, and will forever be the baby of the family—something which has its challenges and perks. That said, there are aspects of a brother-sister relationship that are so different from the dynamics of sisterhood. I’ve never had to share clothes, teachers, hair products, or extracurriculars with my brothers as there were no overlapping interests that required sharing.
When sisterhood unexpectedly entered my life, it changed me and taught me more than I could’ve known.
The experience of sisterhood met me with gentleness, shaping me over time. Having a sister has been a blessing in my life, teaching me wonderful lessons on the importance of patience, outlook, and responsibility. As the youngest and only girl in a large family, sisterhood was foreign to me: I had never experienced it, understood it, or cared for it. However, the joy I have found in being sisters with someone feels very different from being a sister to my brothers. I have been taught patience and self-regulation during our arguments about the darndest things, and now, as an older sister, I have had to step into responsibilities I’ve never had before. Adapting to this alternate dynamic of siblinghood has forced me to evolve. Now that I have experienced being a sister, whether biological, step, or chosen, I have so much love and admiration for the beautiful relationship it is. My sister encourages me to do the things I fear, reminds me of the beauty she sees in me—defined by heart rather than appearance—and brings a refreshing point of view on the world.
The sisterhood I have experienced thus far has been filled with memories of jumping on trampolines in the summer, fighting over who the cat loves the most, playing mermaids while embracing a little bit of child-like whimsy, and dancing in the kitchen with music on as loud as it can be. Because of my sister, I now have the best audience for my shopping hauls—someone who shows appreciation and curiosity for my fashion, is always down to take aesthetic photos with me (doing whatever it takes to get the perfect shot), and watches me do my makeup with intent, often asking questions. I have made memories filled with a tooth-aching kind of sweetness that will forever be locked in my heart. Prior to sisterhood, I had never known the joy of girlhood. I never realized this until I was having my hair braided, doing my sister’s makeup, or painting each other’s nails—that I was missing out on so many experiences, ones I’ve never been able to share with brothers. As an older sister, I get the privilege of watching her grow, develop new interests, be curious about the world, and ask all the questions she can think of.
To watch her be herself is a quiet lesson and a constant reminder to be unapologetically myself.
A fireball full of energy and personality, with strong opinions and stubborn tendencies—she is a lesson in authenticity. Thankfully untainted by the influences of social media, her innocence and naturalness are refreshing. Knowing this, I place close attention to how I speak about myself when I am around her, careful not to influence her perceptions of beauty or life—hoping she forms her own understanding of confidence. It is so special to know that you are someone’s role model—that someone looks up to you, is interested in you, and loves spending time with you. Having a sister is a relationship I didn’t know was missing from my life that I have gained so much love from. She keeps me grounded, playful, and shows me that life is less serious than I tend to make it. I realized just how precious sisterhood is when she was brushing and braiding my hair. I froze that moment in time, holding it close to me. It was a special moment, the spark that inspired me to write about this relationship. It’s a different kind of love, one that awakens the feeling in me to protect and teach. My sister is nostalgia in how she reminds me of when I was 13 years old, wanting the clothes and makeup and confidence of a 19-year-old. But she is also the refreshing spirit of youth that I need to be reminded of often.
I love being a child with so many siblings because you truly never feel alone. It is comforting to know that your siblings will be with you throughout the entire course of your life. When friendships fade,and parents eventually leave this earth, I know siblinghood will always be with me. As much as I know arguments will always happen and our differences will always exist, the love I have for my brothers and sister is overflowing from my heart. No matter the form or time they entered my life, having siblings is a blessing I am grateful to say I have. Even more special is the sisterhood that met me later in life, one of the greatest gifts I could have received. While I will always cherish the relationship I have with my brothers, as they have taught me a great deal about life and formed who I am, this newfound sisterhood has shown me the beauty of growing alongside another girl, filling places in my heart I didn’t know needed this love.
Experiencing sisterhood later in my life has served as a reminder that relationships never stop entering our lives, arriving when we least expect them, enriching them for the better and teaching us so much, and this is a sweetness I will carry with me forever.