Choosing a university program is like opening the door to the rest of your adult life. At first, it’s so exciting; the first year of university feels like the start of a new you. You can chase your passions, become independent, and make a name for yourself. And if you have a change of heart, that’s okay! Your first year is just the foundation; you still have time to steer your degree in any direction. It’s the high of new beginnings that carry us through the first year.
But when the second year hits, you begin to feel a little more solidified in your program. You’re a few feet in the door to the rest of your life, and now you realize that second year is not everything you thought it would be. Maybe your program is a little more competitive than you expected, the courses are a little harder than you’d like, or your interests are shifting from where they started. Or maybe you’re like me, and you realize you don’t have much interest in the jobs your program sets you up for. Suddenly, all the little uncertainties start building, and you wonder: when did university feel so overwhelming?
Right now, in my second year of studying psychology, I’m finding the world behind my door to be different from what I expected. Like many other science programs at McMaster, my program is very research-intensive, and as I continue on with my degree, I’m worried the research pathway might not be right for me.
Now, I know research is not the only career path available in psychology. But it becomes hard to imagine any other pathway when all your professors, upper-year students, and courses are centered around research. With my degree, the most readily available career post-graduation is research. At this point, the career path I know the most about is research. The individuals I interact with in my program are involved in research.
Everything is always about research!
Now, I’m going to let you in on a secret: I’ve never actually worked in research before… So yes, maybe I am being a little pessimistic about a path I haven’t even tried out yet. Some of you researchers reading may think I sound crazy to dread a career you thoroughly enjoy! And honestly, I’ll never know until I try. When I first heard about the research field, I found it to be really cool! Investigating new ideas, learning undiscovered information, working with statistics (I love math, sue me), etc., all seemed super intriguing. And, of course, the ‘lab-coat-academia-stem-girly-aesthetic’ speaks to me on a deep level.
The problem is, what if I try it and find out research is not right for me? Ever since I applied to a psychology program in high school, I’ve always envisioned myself using my degree to provide personalized help to people. And while I know this is still an option for me, it’s getting hard to imagine what that would be like when the only path I ever hear about is research.
I’m sure most university students find the pressure of one career path a little too restricting at some point. All this research talk makes me feel like my whole life is already paved for me! But that can’t be right. I mean, there’s got to be more to the next 40 years of employment than what I see right now. But when I allow myself to think of options outside of a research career path, I find myself asking: what else is there for me to do?
Most career paths require at least a master’s degree, and if I want a higher-paying job, I’m looking at a minimum of a doctorate. It feels so daunting to sign yourself up for an extra 5-8 years of schooling after graduation. At this rate, I’m going to be in school for most of my 20s!? Not to mention all the tuition debt…
I feel like I’m at a crossroads: Either I sign up for more school and hope to find a job doing something that feels foreign right now, or throw myself into research and hope it’s the right path for me. In both scenarios, I’m left with so much uncertainty and fear. How does one know what is right to do?
At this point in time, in the second semester of my Second Year of university, I’m lost. I’ve made my way past the entrance to my adult life, but all this uncertainty and fear cloud my sight. With no map to direct me, and no experience on this road, I find my eyes squinting in search of what to do next. Even after all that anxious rambling, I still don’t have a solution to the “Second Year Dilemma.” I don’t know if the competition will ever lessen, if your courses will ever get easier, or even if your program is the right one for me. After all, this is my first time in my second year.
Yet even with all this uncertainty, I will keep going. When the road ahead becomes hard to see, I’ll focus on the steps I need to take right now. I’ll try my best to remind myself that I don’t need to map everything out right now. I still have time to decide what I want to do. For now, I’ll just keep holding onto the hope that the road will clear up with time and see which route is best for me.
The only thing I do know is that hope and patience must be my closest friends as I navigate the foggy road to adulthood.