The Coolest People I Know Aren’t Afraid to Be Cringe

Edited by: Kyra Bredenhof

Double texting? Desperate. 

Getting overly excited? Embarrassing. 

Admitting you actually studied for an exam? Trying too hard. 

Being nonchalant has become a competitive sport, with the goal seeming to be to care as little as possible, or at least make it look that way. Everything is met with an “it’s not that deep,” and showing genuine enthusiasm risks being labelled cringe. Ironically, for a generation so obsessed with being effortlessly cool, we seem to put an awful lot of effort into appearing effortless. 

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being laid-back, but there’s a difference between genuinely being unbothered and deliberately suppressing your excitement because you’re worried about how it’ll be perceived. Personally, I think we’ve taken the latter a little too far. 

Since When Did Liking Things Become Embarrassing? 

“I know it’s kind of lame, but…” 

“Don’t judge me for this…” 

I hear these phrases all the time, usually followed by the most harmless confession imaginable. Someone loves musicals. Someone still watches Disney movies. Someone has an extensive collection of comic books. It’s strange how often we feel the need to preface our interests with an apology, as though enjoying something that isn’t universally considered cool is a character flaw. 

In the unspoken hierarchy of hobbies and interests, what’s acceptable seems to depend largely on whatever happens to be trending. Yet an interest considered nerdy or childish today could become the next big thing tomorrow. Suddenly, everyone is nostalgic for the same childhood movies they once made fun of, or picking up a hobby because it’s become popular online. 

So why are we allowing trends to determine what we’re comfortable admitting we enjoy? Not everything we enjoy needs to be cool, aesthetically pleasing, or universally understood. Sometimes, we can just like things because we like them. 

The Fear of Being Cringe 

Our obsession with appearing cool also affects what we’re willing to try. 

Maybe you’ve hesitated before asking a question in class because everyone else seemed to understand, or considered posting something creative before deciding that people might think you were doing too much. Maybe you’ve wanted to audition for a performance or join a club, but the possibility of being bad at it, especially in front of other people, made the idea a little less appealing. 

There’s a certain kind of embarrassment that comes with being seen trying. If you put your heart into something and it doesn’t work out, everyone knows you cared. It’s easier to protect your ego by acting like none of it mattered in the first place. 

One of the strangest things about this obsession with being cool is how we’ve managed to turn effort into something negative. Being called a “try-hard” is rarely a compliment, but what’s actually wrong with trying hard? We admire accomplished people yet seem uncomfortable acknowledging the effort that goes into getting there. We’re expected to want things, but not too much. To succeed but make it look easy. To have interests but not be overly invested in them. 

The Coolest People Aren’t Afraid to Be Uncool 

What I find particularly ironic is that we admire people who seem comfortable in their own skin and don’t need validation from everyone around them. Yet constantly adjusting our interests and behaviour to fit what’s socially acceptable seems like the exact opposite of that. 

The people I find the coolest aren’t necessarily the ones with the curated Instagram feeds or an air of indifference, but the people who will enthusiastically tell me about a niche interest, dance at a party, laugh loudly at something ridiculous, or admit they’re excited about an opportunity. They don’t need everyone around them to approve of what they enjoy, and I think there’s something incredibly magnetic about that kind of confidence. 

It’s a confidence that doesn’t have to be loud. What stands out is the absence of that constant need to justify themselves. 

A Little Embarrassment Never Hurt Anyone 

University is supposed to be a time for meeting new people, exploring interests, making mistakes, and discovering parts of ourselves we otherwise might not have known existed. It would be a shame to spend these years so concerned with maintaining a particular image that we miss out on experiences simply because of the worry of what other people might think. I don’t want to regret not auditioning for something, sharing something I created, or approaching someone I wanted to be friends with because I was afraid of seeming too eager. 

We don’t have to stop caring about other people’s opinions entirely, but we could benefit from being a little less afraid of embarrassment. Ask the question. Audition for the role. Post the video you’ve been sitting on for weeks. Let yourself try hard. Let yourself be bad at something. Let yourself care. 

I’d rather have a collection of slightly embarrassing memories than a long list of things I was too self-conscious to try. After all, the coolest people I know aren’t the ones who never embarrass themselves. They’re the ones who aren’t afraid to. 

So, be a little more chalant, care openly, and don’t let anyone dull your sparkle <3 

• Authenticity
• college life
• confidence
• personal growth
• pop culture
• self-expression