Happy early Valentine’s Day, I guess. If you have plans with a significant other for February 14th, kindly leave. This is a safe space where we, single people, will spend the next week justifying all the reasons why we are single. I’ll start: first and foremost, love is overrated.
When I say love, I am referring to the type of love that our generation has become so obsessed with finding. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all crave this romanticized version of “love” that we see in movies, on social media, and even in our imagination – don’t pretend that you don’t make up scenarios in your head too… seriously, because that would have just made it very awkward for me to admit.
We dream about our Prince Charming, who will waltz into our lives, transforming all our struggles into fireworks and magic. Well, here is the thing about Prince Charming: he is sexist.
Prince Charming so graciously takes it upon himself to save the most beautiful, most unintelligent woman in the kingdom. He undermines her, sees her as weak, incompetent, and unable to survive without his help. To make matters worse, Disney Princesses are not exactly the best role models either. The sole objective of every Disney Princess is to attract a man with her physical appearance so that he can save her. What message does this send young girls? Well firstly, that they must be physically attractive to be wanted and secondly, that they need a man to complete their story.
The idea of needing a man to save us has been ingrained in our heads since we began idealizing Disney Princesses – as little girls, we wanted nothing more than to be them. Nothing harmful in dressing up as Sleeping Beauty, right? Wrong. All she does is prick her finger, sleep for a billion years, waiting for a man to kiss her and bring her back to life. Her life is fully dependent on some man with a horse and without him, she would continue doing the only thing she knows how: looking pretty and sleeping. What a great way to encourage us girls to get out there and work hard to achieve our goals!
Starting at 5 years old, we idealize these princesses and begin to embody and trust in the narrative of the “damsel in distress.” Now, Prince Charming is the man you feel like you need to save you. We grow up believing that we are incomplete and in need of saving. Trust me, the last thing that will solve your problems is a teenage boy.
We are told to “play dumb” so that boys won’t get intimidated and feel insecure. Well, I don’t know about you, but I am certainly not getting an education to act like I’m not getting one.
This reminds me of one time in high school when I was raising my hand in class, and the girl beside me nudged me and said, “You know, boys don’t like outspoken girls.” Well, guess what Amy? I don’t like boys who feel threatened by girls, and neither should you.
Don’t get me wrong – I love love! While the idea of falling in love excites us, getting into a relationship should not be our main priority. Is maxing out my rank in Modern Warfare a priority for me just because it excites me? The correct answer here is that it shouldn’t be.
The truth is that this obsession we have with finding someone to complete us, is all wrong. It has made you settle for less than what you deserve, which is a significant other who supports you and admires your strength and independence.
So, the big question: does love exist? Well of course it does, silly! No matter how many times you have gotten your heart broken and no matter how lonely you may feel, keep your standards high and just let it happen naturally. At the end of the day, you can’t force someone to love you and you can’t force yourself to love someone else.
Here is the great thing about love: it also exists beyond a romantic context. Love is everywhere! So, in the meantime, rather than “crying in single,” invest in the love you already have with your friends, family, and yourself.
The love you crave is already within you. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup so stop searching for Prince Charming and start searching for yourself. Once you start showing yourself the love you deserve, everything will fall into place. What is meant for you will find you.